"The Farmer's Almanac" says that North Texas will have a heavy February snowfall in 2004. Surprisingly, this book is not published by "farmers" at all unless farmers have taken up residence in Manhattan. However, the "Old Farmer's Almanac" says that snowfall will be slightly below normal next winter. It's published in Dublin, New Hampshire. It sounds like a place farmers would live. I'm guessing that old famers living in rural areas would have more sense than pseudo-farmers working in an urban setting.

"The Generation-X Suburban Guy Almanac" officially recommends you buy only a half-cord of firewood.

My gameday excitement was sucked out of me. Being an Auburn fan, we should've known. Anytime we're ranked early in the season we get crushed. Texas in 83. By Miami in 84. Tennessee in 85. LSU in 87. Now USC in 03. 23-0. At home. And it wasn't that close.

gamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygameday
gamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygameday
gamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygameday
gamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygameday
gamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygameday
gamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygameday
gamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygameday
gamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygamedaygameday
...GAME DAY!!!!!

Here's the plan: Exercise and yard work. Eat. Catch the end of Georgia and Clemson. Watch the first three quarters of Alabama vs. South Florida (using the "surf" feature to check up on Nebraska and Oklahoma State, et. al). Then Auburn vs. Southern Cal at 5PM. Eat again. If Auburn wins: celebratory banana splits from Braum's with my daughters. If Auburn loses: brood, get on the internet and listen to the post-game show and have head coach Tommy Tuberville explain what went wrong...and then find some other reason to have banana splits from Braum's with my daughters.

If you were raised below the Mason-Dixon line, you have similar plans. If you weren't, don't even try to understand why I'm so excited.

Belated shouts-out to my higher-order life-liver sister Jilly on passing her instrument rating flight test (on the first try, I might add) so now she can fly above the clouds. Females with an instrument rating comprise only 5% of pilots...Way to go, Gifted Child!

Thank you, Dr. King, for going away from your prepared notes in front of the Lincoln Memorial 40 years ago today, and telling us all about your dream. Everyone on the planet should stop down and watch a re-broadcast some time today.

Thank you, Dr. King, for sharpening us all. For the conviction. For the inspiration. For the courage. For the vision. For the passion. For reminding us of the check you went there to cash, written by the U.S Constitution. For reminding us of the freedom...

The power of that last word would not be the same without you reminding us of the words of that great Negro spiritual. Words like "not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character" are a continuing echo...

Let freedom ring, everyday, everybody.

Open note to Roy Moore (suspended Chief Justice of the Alabama State Supreme Court) and his supporters: It is not about winning arguments or legal battles. It's about winning souls. In order to be salt & light we must out love and out live those critics of our faith. Methinks all of you are doing neither.

Open suggestion to Roy Moore and his supporters: Go back to work. Render to Caesar what is Caesar's. It isn't like the government is trying to eradicate the real 10 Commandments...just trying to get you to move a piece of stone you illegally put there. Make a fountain out of it and put it in your backyard. It'll make a great conversation piece around the barbeque.

Civil disobedience should be over higher principles than this. (Foreshadowing...the key to quality literature.)

P.S. Check out this quote from an article at Alabama Live News: "Hundreds of monument supporters, meanwhile, remained entrenched at the state judicial building Tuesday in a scene that's become part religious revival, part siege.

Fried chicken, pizzas, bags of cookies and cases of drinking water were laid in for the long haul as the growing throng prayed, sang and ate beneath towering columns just a glance away from the 5,300-pound monument inside.

"It's real biblical as far as I'm concerned," said Lorraine Adams, who drove in from Birmingham last week. "I can see the two fish, loaves of bread happening here. It's a feast for God's people."

Okay, so if anyone can help me stop those stupid "pop ups" that keep interrupting me on-line I would appreciate it...I'm computer illiterate and I loathe those warning to "unsafe user" telling me that my world will crash because my machine is "vulnerable." And no, Mac users, the answer is NOT to switch...

P.S. Hey Mom (a.k.a. "Charlotte The Scar"): Happy Birthday! Do you know you share a birthday with the great Jerry Garcia? Dom Delouise? Francis Scott Key? I think that's pretty cool! Tell the other inmates I said 'hello', okay? :)

There are exciting things going on in our church these days. Much ado about the "tribe known as Christians" (Jewish historian Josephus' phrase, which I really like) and how we are to interact with our world.

One thing we'd better be ready for is how those we are going to interact with look at us. An excellent article from GQ magazine (that I know has been around a bit) worth everyone's time to read can be found through K Life Ministries resource page. It's a long article, but you won't regret reading it.

Just to get your curiosity flowing, here's the tag before the article: WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?
BUT MORE, IMPORTANT, WHAT WERE JESUS' FINTNESS SECRETS? IF YOU WERE ONE OF THE GROWING MILLIONS OF AMERICANS LIVING IN THE MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR CHRISTIAN ALTERNACULTURE—IN WHICH EVERYTHING IN MAINSTREAM CULTURE GETS CLONED AND THEN BLEACHED OF "SINFUL" CONTENT—YOU'D KNOW. WALTER KIRN SPENDS SEVEN STRANGE DAYS WALKING IN THE SHOES OF THE FAITHFUL.

Just a warning for those of you who don't get The Simpson's view of our Tribe, either: The article is a satire. And it stings when it's on target. Pay attention, class. And take notes...our peaceful "alternaculture" is at risk. Thank God.

Orange. Six days in a row of orange!

That's the air quality index/rating for the Metroplex for today. It'll be purple in some spots, too. Insert diatribe for a public transportation that works right.......................here.

I know. Rant against SUV's and stop-and-go traffic. Rave about car-pooling. Get excited about the recent DFW-area focus group to address the problems. Nothing changes, and nothing's even planned to change until about 2027.

I'll tell you this, though. I'll gladly change a myriad of my transportation habits if my child's elementary school class could actually play outside during a school day instead of being relegated to the gymnasium every day. I'll gladly sell off a vehicle with all it's maintenance and insurance and registration if my kid could get ready for practice without a dose of Nasonex. I'll sweat through Texas heat to do it, too.

Until further notice, I'm riding my bike to work. I hope it isn't purple in the spots I ride through.

Proof that I have the best job in the world, Reason #4398.

My most vivid memory of him: When he was 16, I snuck him in to a youth-pastors-only lunch with a popular band going by the name DC Talk. I checked him out of school to do it, too. He was the worship leader for our high school ministry at the time and was able to ask a question one-on-one with a real rock star. The question he asked was about advice the band's lead singer would give to someone who wanted to lead worship.

My most vivid memory of her: She was a high school junior in a school drama production of "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." She had a minor part, but she took over the stage. Teachers call it "stage presence" and even early on everybody could see that she had it not only on stage, but just walking through life.

My most vivid memory of them together: She was the happiest bride I've ever seen. He was fighting some sort of bug, but still couldn't have been more excited to be marrying her. Their wedding was so much fun...largely because they were having so much fun.

After a brief stint of her putting him through the last semester of school, and a summer of training, they are off. So now, with degrees in hand that will be more valuable for the life-experience gained than on the open market, they are off on a year-long mission to the Czech Republic. Today, 1PM, from LAX.

The reason I have the best job in the world? I got to, in the words of Paul, "plant." Many others watered. God caused the growth. And MANALIVE have they grown. Words fail me when I try to describe to others the fun of digging-in-the-dirt planting, and the joy of seeing others water, and watching God cause growth. And it is rare to see the process as vividly as I do in those two.

So, Mike and Katie, Godspeed. Live your lives as a spiritual sacrifice of worship with amazing stage presence over there in Europe, okay? Friends like you are inspiring.

One of my friends, Joshua is having his 25th birthday today! Let's all celebrate by getting a piercing, moving to an urban loft, thinking about drinking Starbucks coffee but then rolling your eyes and deciding against it, building a relationship with someone who is tatooed and then presenting the Gospel to them, and finally, getting all silly goofy in love with your spouse and child.

A cool thing to do for birthdays that don't cost nothin': Get on line, pick out a gift that you'd buy them if money were no object (but don't go the easy route and pick out a huge home or yacht...put some thought into it), get the link to that object and send an e-mail to them telling them happy birthday and let them know "here's what I would've gotten you" kind of thing...

Here's what I "got" Joshua: Very Cool Painting. You can e-mail Joshua at joshuarudd@mac.com if you want!

Happy birthday, mon frere!

A few things I've been reading lately:

From "The Challenge of Jesus" by N.T. Wright: "If we are to follow Jesus Christ we need to know more about the Jesus Christ we are following...The disciplines of prayer and Bible study need to be rooted again and again in Jesus himself if they are not to become idolatrous or self-serving. We have often muted Jesus' stark challenge, remaking him in our own image and then wondering why our personal spiritualities have become less than exciting and life-changing."

From "The Deeper Christian Life" by Andrew Murray: "What helped Peter?...It must come with us to a conviction of sin; it must come with us to a real, downright earnest repentance, or we can never get into the better life. We must stop complaining and confessing, 'Yes, my life is not what it should be and I will try to do better.' That won't help you."

I'm also reviewing a book called "Every Woman's Battle" (insert your own joke here) for work, but I can't imagine you'd care about any quotes from that...

I wonder how many of the current world events would be non-issues if we, as a people, were to get serious (i.e., making the sacrifices and putting up with the personal inconveniences, not to mention a Herculean effort by our government on the scale of the space race) about solar power, public tranportation on a grand scale and/or electric cars.

What is the matter with people? Check out this article from today's Dallas Morning News about people griping about vacations. It's loaded with quotes like "there's only so many days you can spend at the beach" and "vacation is work and work is a vacation."

Who really thinks like this?

And if it's true that as Americans we have a cultural problem with leisure time, we need to get our collective heads recalibrated.

Things I can't believe actually "work": Telemarketing. Pop-up ads. Instant Messages or Spam mails (especially the ones for web cams/porn or my mortgage or pharmaceuticals).

Things I think really "work": Clearance bins on CD's and DVD's. Hard-back classics from Barnes & Noble for under $7. Lunch buffets.

I guess the difference is that the really good things don't have to sell themselves. They're just "there" and people make the effort to go get them. The things that have to get my attention usually aren't worth buying. I'm befuddled by the fact that, apparently, those things that I can't believe "work" are actually "working" to the point that those people keep trying.

Man. This entire supply and demand thing can be confusing. It's downright scary that Jesus said that what we spend our money on is an indicator of what's in our heart.

Quote of the day, from a response to one of my blogs by former occupant of the guest room Kendra : "We sustain and transmit our Christian identity through the written word. The use of language in the Church itself can be rather uninspiring, whether because we appeal to the tired jargon of popular culture or artlessly repeat our own cliches." She got it from a Duke University website about their theological writing program.

Goal for today: Stop appealing to the tired jargon of pop culture and avoid artless repetition. Thanks, Kenner!

Tonight will be the last concert for a local venue called the Bronco Bowl. The building is a mix of a bowling alley and concert hall, and a steady stream of famous and local musicians have played there, giving this building a history and unique charm. They're tearing it down to make room for a Home Depot.

There was a similar fuss a short while back when they closed a place called the Sportatorium. It used to be the home of professional wrestling before that was big business.

I don't have an emotional tie to either of those places (I've only lived in suburban Dallas for 8 years) and I was thinking about the buildings I do feel some emotional tie to. For obvious reasons, homes can't factor into this discussion.

The only building I can think of that I would want a part of if they tore it down would be Jordan-Hare Stadium on the campus of Auburn University. It may sound silly, but growing up in the Deep South and football being the predominant religion, I experienced some of my deepest emotions in that building. I've probably seen 70 big-time college football games there, and lived and died with my perennial underdog AU Tigers. And all of those highs (like beating the #1 ranked Florida Gators in 1993 while we were on probation in what turned out to be a magical season) and lows (getting drubbed 41-7 by Nebraska comes to mind) were experienced with friends who felt the same way.

Yep. If they tore down that building, I'd definitely buy a brick from the AU Alumni Association, who I'm sure will be selling them at $50 per with benefits going to the Greater Auburn Fund.

A few weeks ago, in the mail, I got a slick brochure (addressed to "resident") inviting me to a sermon series at an area church. It was entitled "C.S.I.: Christ's Scene Investigators." The pastor was wearing a sweater vest and sneakers.

Later, at the movies before the start time (we're "get-good-seats" kind of people), there was a slide advertising a church that was obviously targeting families. Yet another slide showed a person engaged in a worship experience, touting their church as a place to "connect, grow, and experience God."

Today, in the paper, there was a local church that mailed out to their community a "jury summons" that looked precisely like one from the government inviting people to be the "jury" at a sermon series that would play out like a courtroom debate. This one made the newspaper because several people called the local authorities to request new dates for their service and an official said the church was "irresponsible."

I'm not against churches advertising by any stretch. More power to 'em, if that's how they want to spend their money. I simply don't believe that any of these are very effective.

And I think the reason it's ineffective is because no matter how nice the intent of the ad, or how professional it looks, or how clever the churches try to be with their pop culture tie-ins, Christians have marginalized themselves and made themselves irrelevant. I know...marginalized OURselves and made OURselves irrelevant.

And I firmly believe this is because we've poorly prioritized what the apostle Paul said the "goal of our instruction is LOVE." Christ said that "this is how they will know you are My disciples, that you LOVE one another." Let's face it. The most effective advertising of the truth of Christ is by how well we love each other and those that are "lost." Genuine love, concern and compassion. Love is a choice (of which feelings follow), so let's all choose to go out there and LOVE.

We don't even have to have brainstorming meetings or call the printer or buy stamps...

Shouts out to my neo-hippie pierced and tatooed friend Kristen this morning as I'm blogging with "Gazebo Blend" coffee at the ready. Her gift, courtesy of the corporate "perks" available from the fine management folks at Starbucks, is a far better coffee than the Folgers I've been drinking. Plus, I'm limiting myself to two cups per day so I have to make them count.

I used to think that all coffee was pretty much the same, that it was all slick marketing designed to get a better bang for the buck. Now I know that this coffee thing is a "get-what-you-pay-for" situation, but I'm a neophyte when it comes to blends and when to use them (I'm the same way with wines, too)...So, what I'm asking today is for my blog community friends to help me in my ignorance (yes, we'll get to wines later). What brands/blends do you recommend? When's best to drink said brands/blends?

Also, please keep in mind that I plan to stay with my straight up Mr. Coffee maker and I have no intention of throwing down $150 to upgrade. Just tryin' to keep it real with my peeps (to the degree a suburban van-owning dad can)...

My contribution to the discussion will stay with what I know: My higher-order-life-liver sister Jilly introduced me to "Chock Full O' Nuts" which, while having the worst name, is probably the best of the mass market brands, for what that's worth. If you can find that in your local grocery, it's good to have around for those more spontaneous coffee happenings.

Sorry to keep taking you to New York Times' op-ed page, but here's a reminder to all of us from Maureen Dowd (see the whole article at Maureen Dowd August 13 )

"The most telling sign that the Internet is no longer the cool American frontier? Blogs, which sprang up to sass the establishment, have been overrun by the establishment.

In a lame attempt to be hip, pols are posting soggy, foggy, bloggy musings on the Internet. Inspired by Howard Dean's success in fund-raising and mobilizing on the Web, candidates are crowding into the blogosphere — spewing out canned meanderings in a genre invented by unstructured exhibitionists."

Gentle reminder, hoping to avoid irony: Let's all try to avoid being soggy & foggy and avoid spewing out canned meanderings, okay? Please, sass away at the establishments. If nothing else, at least we'll be hip.

Just started reading a book by N.T. Wright called Jesus and the Victory of God in which he discusses why people don't go to church. Wright then quotes Maxtone Graham: "Part of the reason is simply a lack of belief that the death of Christ was the turning point of history...It all seems less and less likely to be true, the more you discover about those maniacs in the first century who were expecting a Messiah and getting ready for the end of the world."

Wright then says: "Unless someone can at least address this question, one might as well give up and go home...What you say about Jesus affects your entire worldview. If you see Jesus differently, everything changes. Turn this small rudder, and the whole ship will change tack. To put it bluntly: What if the maniacs turned out to be right?"

For some reason, in this instance, I don't mind being included with those maniacs.

In a speech to New York University last week, Al Gore came out of political hiding. A quote from that speech: "Millions of Americans now share a feeling that something pretty basic has gone wrong in our country, and that some important American values are being placed at risk." Contextually, he is speaking of the pattern of deception of the Bush administration regarding war, terrorism, the economy, etc.

It is a pattern. Gore is right. As Bob Herbert, NY Times columnist, put it: "Credibility is the Achilles' heel of the Bush administration."

Check out www.nytimes.com/2003/08/11/opinion/11HERB.html for a thought provoking read.

My friends Laura and James got married yesterday. It reminds me that I have the best of all jobs: To see people grow in their relationship to the Lord and then they haul off and make decisions to live their lives for Him. In some cases, that is a career choice. In others, a summer opportunity. In this case, it was fun to be there knowing that two people are smack dab (Alabama upbringing reminder #374) in the middle of where God wants them to be. I'm a sucker for weddings, anyway. But it's even more fun when you can leave with some surety that God is going to be glorified in their life together...and I definitely got that sense. As an added bonus: They had live steel-drum Calypso music for their reception. If I had a do-over on my reception, I think I'd do away with the fruit and cheese and go with the Blue Man Group.

In other news, I may consider running for governor of California. Or has the deadline passed?

"Are you ready, Dad?"

Kelsey asked me this as we were about to go into the middle school orientation this morning. In the spirit she asked the question, yes, I was indeed ready. I was fully prepared for the meeting with a brand new legal pad at the ready.

And you know what? I'm ready in the other sense, too. Today I saw her as a pre-teen instead of a child. She managed to get her locker open (and decorated in a chic manner, too, complete with shelves, mini-mirror, mini-whiteboard, and magnetic pockets...several moms asked where to get that stuff, so kudos to the wife for keen foresight) after the first instruction, she navigated the hallways, she met her new teachers with confidence and poise, she chatted with friends, she yelled at the mini-pep rally, she made eye-contact with THE BOY but successfully kept me from sitting with THE BOY'S dad during the lunch...

Yes, Kelsey. I'm ready. I'm ready because you are so ready. Godspeed. You are one great kid...

Reason #34573 that Hollywood is out of ideas: I heard a radio advertisement this morning for "Evil vs. Evil" and "They've terrorized generations, and now they're terrorizing each other," complete with teenagers screaming "Somebody please wake me up NOW!" The promotion was for the horror movie "Freddy vs. Jason."

Frankly, I think Jason will thrash Freddy.

Obvious irony #1: I might've run out of ideas if this is my blog topic for today.

Actually, I've been thinking about this up-and-coming trend called "Flashmobbing." I think it's a great idea if it's done to prove a point (like in the tobacco commercial when 1,240 people walk up to a tobacco company's building and 1,239 people fall down and act dead and one holds up a sign saying that is how many people die every day from smoking, and "Why not take a day off?")...then it's free speech movement and I'm all about that. I also like the idea of illustrating the absurd by being absurd.

But when it comes down to 300 people showing up in Central Park to make animal noises, it just seems like goofing off, which ain't necessarily all bad, but then it's just bad performance art.

Check your search engine for "flashmob" or go to <"www.cheesebikini.com"> for more info on this trend. I like it's possibilities...

One thing I've noticed about native Texans is that they are a peculiar people. Certainly nice and friendly and easy to like...but peculiar nonetheless. For example, my first Texas-born neighbor actually used old cowboy boots for planters and had them on his front porch. How great is that?

Yesterday, the lead story on the news was that the temperature was 109 degrees at the airport, breaking the record. People here were almost as proud and excited as the time we were chasing the record of consecutive 100 degree days (and just so you know, we got to 53 or something, and the record is in the 60's somewhere...you'd have to ask a native for the exact figures. They keep such things at the ready.) and hoping we'd actually break the record!

The 109 degree temperature even moved the story of Texas joining some multiple state powerball lottery to the 2nd item on the newscast. You'll all be happy to know that Troy Dungan said it wouldn't be near as hot today...only 103. Peculiar people, these Texans.

58 years ago today the Enola Gay dropped a bomb on Hiroshima, Japan. A big one. The biggest of ones. Growing up, everyone told me that it changed the world forever. Frankly, I think it's just one more Baby Boomer myth (don't EVEN get me started on the overhyped self-importance that generation gives themselves). The only way it changed my life is that we actually had drills in school to prepare for such an event. As if hiding under desks with our heads tucked by our knees would help us out in the event of a nuclear bomb. As if Birmingham, Alabama were a primary target for nukes.

Nope...It really didn't change my world forever. I have no "Mental Ground Zero" (author Douglas Coupland's definition for where you visualize yourself during the dropping of an atomic bomb). My world is one of small pockets of terrorists and randomly being at the wrong place at the wrong time and a goofy system of colors and numbers telling me what my likelihoods are.

There's a park, called Peace Park, in Hiroshima, at precisely the spot where the bomb hit. Children make oragami animals and place them there even today. Apparently, lessons were learned that previous generations passed on. So, special note to anyone carrying "suitcase nukes" or "dirty bombs" or whatever else you've got planned: Learn those lessons. Blessed are peacemakers...

If you've got a religious text that says anything contrary to that, find a new one.

Uh oh. My philosopher friend (and he's working on his Ph.D in philosophy, so he has real stripes...not coffeshop stripes like the rest of us) Dustin has chimed in with questions about my Francis Schaeffer blog a few days back. Philosophy and Francis Schaeffer...we may be a while today, folks.

His first question was: 1) do you think he's correct to place theology at the very end of the chain, even behind popular culture. The answer is yes. Theology is usually the last of the academic disciplines, for a myriad of reasons, and highly reactionary. The (historically, but I agree that Schaeffer's "slow creep" theory is being affected by the Internet) continental philosophers throw the lobs over the net and academic theologues wait for the high bounce before they knock them back.

The second question was: 2) what, if any, aspects of contemporary Christianity, do you think made their way down through the system? The answer is that whatever aspects of contemporary Christianity that have made it through the system have had minimal impact (historic Christianity used to be the basis for all formal academic philosophy so I assume you used "contemporary" measuredly). Dispensationalism, for example. Maybe the neo-orthodoxy movement. The writings of Neuwen and Wright come to mind as well. The pendulum swings back, but it has been so marginalized in academic circles that contemporary Christianity by and large (out of necessity, mind you) publishes to itself and debates internally.

Finally, the question was asked "ARE the truths of Christianity discernable through reason alone? If not, what else must we have? Experience? Innate ideas? Faith?" There's no question that the basic truths about God are discernable by reason alone (re: Romans 1). I would eliminate experience and "innate ideas" from the mix. Faith certainly plays a part (as it does in atheism and/or pragmatism as well)...but the question will arise "Faith in WHAT?" At that point, I'd say the truth of the Scripture, which simply rounds out the discussion and kicks it back above Schaeffer's "line of despair."

Nice way to start the day with coffee and deep thought. Thanks, Dustin! I'm truly glad you're checking in occasionally and hope you start blogging yourself.

Getting in shape. I liked my life better when I simply existed and was in shape. Now, I am a proof-text for the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics.

Resolved: Get in shape. Self-discipline. Better diet. Cardio training. Strength training. Stretching. Like the motivational slogan found on my high school weight room wall: Combine running, weightlifting and stretching IF YOU DARE TO BE GREAT! They stole it from Nebraska's weight room. I would think if you're going to steal a slogan for motivation you'd rather get one a little jazzier...but I don't think football coaches go for jazzy.

Anyway, the nearly 500 miles of training begins today for my most ambitious training project of my life. The Napa Valley Marathon on March 7, 2004. We'll see if "The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer" was worth the $15.95.

At the risk of sounding like a bad case of "Gen-X Good Old Days Syndrome": What has happened to the comic strips these days? Calvin and Hobbes, Bloom County and The Far Side (kudos to Bill Watterson, Berke Breathed and Gary Larson) were all incredible in their heyday...

I don't find much lately that measures up. Maybe The Boondocks (but for some reason, the Dallas Morning News has relegated it to the same page with Dear Abby). Certainly For Better or Worse is the current best. Possibly Zits. The Norm isn't bad, either...and there are easily 60 strips in the DMN. 4 are decent?

But none of those four even approaches the first three I mentioned. I wonder why comic strip greatness is so hard to attain.

Unless you were raised in the true Deep South, U.S.A. (this includes only those states that had buildings burned by Northern troops as they marched through during the Civil War--no one else, Texas & south Florida) you won't understand this, but it's only four weeks until college football season.

I've recently gotten my flag for outside my home complete with Tiger eyes and I've read all the requisite on-line sports pages to see how the running back situation is shaping up and if the kicking game will come around and why the eagle won't be flying to inspire the crowd this year and whether or not the coach can live up to this season's expectations and how the season tickets are already sold out making the stadium the fifth largest city in Alabama on any given Saturday and why the coach is opening practice to the media and...

...Saturday, August 30. Don't bother calling or coming by. I'll be busy. Just a heads up.

So MTV turns 22 today. Celebrate by starting out listening to music, but then switching to videotaping your home life for others to watch. Next, train your attention span to focus for only three minutes. Finally, go around telling everyone else what's cool and if they don't fall in line, ridicule them.