19 Things I Learned In 19 Years Of Youth Ministry, Part 10

Once I started going to Campus Life, I was pretty much "at" everything. I didn't miss the Monday night large group meetings too often. Our small group was a high priority with me, too. I went to church on Sunday mornings and the Sunday School class more often than not. More not than often I went to the Sunday night service, too. When it comes down to the bottom line, there were nearly 400 lessons I could've heard. Let's say I went to 275 of them.

What do I remember about the specific lessons?

Well, from the large group meetings at Campus Life I distinctly remember an anti-abortion film that was pretty graphic. After that, I got nothin.'

Our small group all went to hear an NFL kicker give his "testimony" at some other church's week-long revival held at our high school's stadium. I distinctly remember an old-style southern preacher giving the sermon titled "One More Night with the Frogs." The crux of it was the Pharoah chose to spend one more night with the frogs from the plague Moses initiated instead of letting the people go. The next thing me and my friends knew this guy was hollering the sermon title after a listing some sin or gray area. It went, "And you keep saying you'll start going to church more often next week. ONE MORE NIGHT...

...WITH...

...THE FROGS!!!!"

This went on for about 10 minutes. But I think the reason I remember that sermon was because my friends and I would mockingly use that phrase for a week afterward any time we deemed it appropriate. Put in a cassette of heavy metal. Eyeball a cheerleader. Say a cuss word. Get a large order of food at McDonald's. We'd do our very best fire-and-brimstone imitation of the phrase.

I do remember one Bible study we had on a covenant and how it worked. I don't remember many details of the particular study but I remember our discussion on how much work it would've taken to cut that many animals in half with the tools they had at hand. That discussion went on for 10 minutes, too.

I don't remember any of Bob's youth group lessons. Really, I don't. I just remember that his illustrations never had him failing. This affected me profoundly in that I wanted to make sure my students never said what I said...that I couldn't be a youth pastor because I'm not like him and he's got it all together. I talk a great deal about my weaknesses to my students. I want them saying that "if that clown can do it, I'd be incredible at it." I think they do.

What I remember most is that Bob took us to see Dawson McAllister at a conference and he'd just written a booklet called, "A Walk with Christ to the Cross." The conference teaching I remember as it was an hourly breakdown of the events leading to Christ's crucifixion. We went through the workbook again on Sunday nights one summer.

Pastor Mickey gave me one sermon that I remember, which is ironic. It was a Christmas sermon called "Gifts for the King." This involved gold, frankincense and myrrh and what gifts we would give to the king. Mickey was the first person I ever heard teach exegetically through a book (that more or less means verse by verse) of the Bible. The reason my remembrance of the Christmas sermon is ironic is that his main application points had little, if anything, to do with exegesis. It simply "fit."

And that's about it. 25 years later I could type in 19 minutes everything I remember about specific student ministry lessons. I was there and doing my best to pay attention, too.

I figure my students are not much different.

I have two lessons that I think they might remember years later...mainly because I teach them annually, and they're back to back. I teach on the Triumphal Entry and it uses a lot of math and I give them a marble at the end of it. I also teach on the crucifixion (coincidentally, using Dawson McAllister's time-line. I still have my workbook.) and give them a nail. Outside of that, I'm not sure there are many specific lessons they remember that I taught them.

So, what do I think they remember?

My stupid catch phrases that I usually pilfer from some obscure movie or television show. Right now, everytime I enter a room that students might be in, I bark, "I'm back, baby dolls!" that I got from "How I Met Your Mother." I used to chant the secret password that would get you into Pee-Wee's Playhouse or say Merry Christmas in Hawaiian.

Or my goofy actions, like saying, "Ow my eye!" and grabbing my eye if anyone threw anything that remotely came anywhere near my head. Or came anywhere not even close to my head.

Mr. Bother. Mrs. Bother. Sgt. Bother. Kids don't oversleep on my trips.

Or some moment where I did something stupid. The list is too long, but they seemed to happen the most when Katherine was around. I knew something stupid just came out of my mouth when she'd lovingly, but condescendingly, ask,

"WHAT...

...are you...

...DOING?"

These moments would be followed by uncontrollable laughter. Her at me. Me at me.

They might remember some bit of scriptural advice we talked about over coffee or while we had some down-time in an airport or a long bus ride. The funny thing is years later they'll tell me about how they're still applying that little nugget and I don't even remember the conversation until they remind me of it.

I know one group remembers yelling at an ocean. I think I learned more on that trip than they did, though.

And most of my teens aren't that far removed from my ministry, either. They're still within a decade.

Why am I telling you all this? Because I certainly believe that exegetical teaching of Scripture is vital to a teenager's growth. Even knowing what I know now. I can't explain exactly the "how" but the "why" is that somehow, someway, the Holy Spirit manages to use the living and active Word to transform hearts and minds. The timetable He uses and the circumstances He uses remain a mystery to me.

So, I study. A lot. And I never fall back on my 19 years of files for notes no matter how many times I teach a subject. I always want it to be fresh to my students and it won't be if it isn't fresh and real to me. In fact, most times I want to torch notes on the subject from 10 years ago...or even last year. I do compare my "fresh" notes to the older ones to see if there's something key I left out. But I take exegetical teaching pretty seriously...and I write my own curriculum. I think my students "get" that.

But I know one thing:

Teaching Scripture is most effective when taught in a life-on-life context.

The meaning is simple. They'll remember the big picture long after they've forgotten the specific lessons. Because the specific lessons were mixed in with your relationship with them.

The joy.
The peace.
The patience.
The kindness.
The goodness.
The faithfulness.
The gentleness.
The self-control.

The bottom line: The love.

They saw them lived out when they were at your house and watching you raise kids right in front of them. They saw them lived out on the bus when the freshman was having a hard time leaving home for the week. They saw them lived out when you crashed on the ski trip. They saw them lived out when you disciplined the kid in the back of the room because he was disruptive. They saw them lived out when you'd worked 45 hours that week and still had the lock-in beginning in two hours. They saw them lived out when you celebrated their state championship with them. They saw them lived out when you listened to them after the break-up. They saw them lived out...

...well, I could go on and on.

But it happens life-on-life. That's what they remember. The lesson, lived out in the relationship.

Want proof?

Name 5 SPECIFIC sermon lessons you remember.

Because I'd bet that any growth that resulted from that came from, at the very least, a discussion ABOUT that with someone else.

The relationship is more important than the lesson plan. Always. But never cheat the lesson plan, because it enhances the relationship. Symbiotic. But don't ask me to explain it...