19 Things I Learned In 19 Years Of Youth Ministry, Part 3

I have no idea why he bothered.

See, I had made a deal with God three years earlier: God would stay on His side of the universe, and I'd stay on mine. When my father died unexpectedly at the age of 39, people kept telling me that "God has a plan." I figured that was true, too, since so many people let me in on that piece of information. It was just that I didn't like the plan. And, since I've always had a firm belief that God was there, and I never went through a time where I thought He didn't exist, and I didn't like His plan...it would be best to just let God know I was cool with Him being God and running the universe according to His "plan," but He probably shouldn't expect me at church on Sunday.

Or small groups on Wednesdays. Or picnics or pot lucks or trips or retreats or service projects or anything else His folks might dream up. He had His side of the universe. I had mine. That's was the deal. And it worked for nearly three years.

But my freshman year of high school one of my buddies invited me to go to something called Campus Life. Hal had been the week before and said that it was pretty fun, they talked about God, and there were loads of pretty girls. And not just freshman. Every grade was represented by a bevvy of pretty girls. That sealed the deal.

I met a guy named Duffy. He shook my hand and remembered my name. I know this because when he was at the lunchroom to invite people to that week's Campus Life, he said it. When he was at the basketball game, he'd come over at halftime and say "hello" and he'd use it. If he saw me at Papa Joe's picking up pizza he'd stop and ask how I was doing. Every now and then at Campus Life he'd take some time and check up on what was going on in my life, which usually involved striking out with a bevvy of pretty girls representing every grade.

And he stopped by my hospital room when I broke my leg. It was at one of the hospitals farthest from my high school in my city but he drove all the way to West End to visit. Twice. I kicked him out the first time because asked me about God's plan. He came back the next day and we talked about God's plan. I was in traction and my friends were back to the business of school and I'd be home the next day anyway, so he had a captive audience and my undivided attention.

He plugged me into another leader's Bible study. Big Dave Waid's group. It was pretty cool, too. The guys there all knew more than me and they were on the "A" list of popularity (I was a "C"-list person leading a "A"-list life) but it worked somehow. It was a lot of fun, actually. Big Dave and I did a lot of hanging out.

Duffy invited me to his church and made me feel welcome. It was a little Bible church (my mom checked it out twice to make sure it wasn't a cult. In Alabama, nobody's really sure what to do with a Bible church) and the youth group was small, but big enough for me to keep a distance but still work on a relationship with the youth pastor...in my own time and in my own way. Duffy actually made sure I was getting to know Bob, the youth guy. He even made sure I could visit with Mickey every now and then. He was the senior pastor. I felt like a big shot and tried to think of impressive questions to ask Mickey for our monthly meetings.

Duffy made sure I was getting connected to another small group leader when I went off to university. He called once a week until he was pretty sure me and some remnants of Big Dave's study were in Chuck's capable hands. He checked out Chuck for us, too. Called Chuck himself. Then Duffy and I were out of contact until I'd come home for some sort of break in semesters. But we always kept up, somehow, even without e-mails or text messages or MySpace or blogs. We actually paid something called "long distance charges." I don't know if they even have those anymore.

Anyway, Duffy hired me for my first job in youth ministry out of college. Well, after an interesting attempt at a semester of seminary after I was out of college. Long story about that, though.

I asked him one time why he bothered with me. I was a scrawny freshman kid leading a "C-list" life and here he was putting me in his best Bible study leader's group with all the popular guys and making sure I had "ins" with the youth pastor and senior pastor at his church. He let me come over to his house and hang out with Cynthia and his kids. He sat with me at lunch. I didn't show much promise, frankly.

And I never forgot his answer: "You were the one kid. It's easy to look out at the masses of teenagers and be happy that lots of kids are coming to the meetings and have your ego stroked. But every one of those in the mass of teens is one kid with their own unique situations and struggles and hopes and dreams and trials and talents and interests. Never lose sight of how important the one kid is. Then you won't have to worry about the masses. You have to see extraordinary possibilities in very ordinary teenagers because God does that very thing with us."

It shaped the core of my student ministry, really.

Yes. There are times when you're teaching a mass of 'em. And there are quarterbacks and actors and academicians and board weasels and cowboys and beauty queens and video gamers and artists and partyers and C-listers and the whole gamut of teenage life is represented. And, yes, your ego gets stroked a bit.

But that mass of kids is one kid with their own unique situations and struggles and hopes and dreams and trials and talents and interests. God loves each one of them so much the very hairs on their heads have numbers. And he sees extraordinary possibilities in very ordinary students.

God did that with me. Of all the A-listers in my Bible study, I was also the most spiritually shallow in my small group...both in high school and college. If I were God and drawing up the plan, I'd have picked Scotty.

God is doing that with them, too. But He picks the one kid. Each and every time.

It's part of His plan...hehehehe.