19 Things I Learned In 19 Years Of Youth Ministry, Part 2

The American author Stephen King specializes in the horror genre. It can be some twisted stuff, too. Hollywood makes lots of movies out of them, but they're never as good as the books. His novels can be dark, brooding, bloody, scary, and usually involve a twist you never expect. I should know. I read them all up through Misery, including the short story compilations.

In one of those short story compilations entitled Skeleton Crew he discusses his rise in the literary community. He discusses his younger days and what it was like to make enough money to drop his "day job" and write full-time. He talked about how much money he made (gross and net)...and he talked about what it was like to be him when it came to social events.

He said people would walk up to him at parties and after the obligatory chit-chat they'd eventually ask him something along the lines of, "So, why do you write that dark, brooding, bloody, scary novels?"

He said his answer began with the words, "Why do you assume I have a choice?" He'd then proceed to talk about how he was built a certain way and he wrote about what popped into his brain when he asked himself questions like, "What if the outcast got elected prom queen as a joke and the popular kids enacted vengeance on her?"

And, for a moment, I related to his social scene.

See, when you're a youth pastor, well, people don't really know what to do with that information. When I meet people for the first time in a social setting and we're having obligatory chit-chat and they ask what I do for a living, they respond with something polite (think, "Well, that's nice.") which is followed by a curious, "Why would you want to spend all day, every day, with teenagers?"

I know what they meant. Teenagers can be an unknown quantity if you don't have your own, or have a line of work that throws you in with them, or haven't been one in nearly 20 years.

But my answer was the same as Mr. King's: "Why do you assume I have a choice?"

God wired me a certain way. The way I should go. So I can't tell you why I I like it when teenagers congregate at the mall. I'm interested in what's going on at the high schools or middle schools and almost have traffic accidents trying to see if I know any of them running on the track. I can't explain why I pull for the kid with the laser pointer in the movie theatre (who won't get away with it because he doesn't know when to quit). I have no idea why I like their views on politics, religion, sports, pop culture or really anything. I enjoy their use of language. I like their energy. I like their spirit, which can be on display at a skateboard park or driving with the top down and the music up. Whenever I saw a gaggle of teens, I'd ask myself, "I wonder who's ministering to those teens?"

And I am intrigued by God's Word. Fascinated by it. I have been since I was 16. I can't tell you why, either. I like the reality that God spoke to mankind in written form. I like that it is Truth. I like that it comforts me. I like that it humbles me. I like that it challenges me. I like that it convicts me. I like that it raises questions in me. I like that my seminary professors had written their own commentaries on every verse of it and could still say "I don't know" and mean it. I like that it all points to Christ. From the index to the maps (stealing a phrase I heard from Howard Hendricks), Christ's person and work is the focal point. I'm just wired that way.

And there happens to be a job that combines those two "wirings." So, in effect, I don't have a choice. And that energy and excitement I had to do youth ministry never really changed much in the 19 years.

So I understand when the question has flipped around a bit these days. I mean, by this point, most of the people don't ask me why I do it these days, they hear I've been doing it 19 years and say things like, "Wow, you must really enjoy it to stay in it so long." Now, with the staff reorganization at my church, people are more likely to ask things like, "Well, if God wired you that way and you enjoy it so much, why don't you stay in it?"

Some people have even congratulated me on "my promotion" to Pastor of Discipleship & Mobilization. I appreciate their sentiments, but it's a lateral move. A true youth pastor KNOWS that a ministry to teenagers isn't a stepping stone to anything (and anyone taking a youth pastorate to use it for such purposes, please do everyone a favor and just go straight to that ministry, okay?).

See, I think that passion and "wiring" can evolve. It can morph. It can transform. As I aged in student ministry I began to notice my thoughts go in a different direction a little bit. So, for example, if a teenager made an unwise choice, a thought like this might pop into my brain: "Man, that's rough. I wonder how his parents are holding up? I wonder what insight they might need to serve their teen most effectively? I wonder who is there to help the parents?"

I began to experience little things as my own kids began their teen years. I now know what it's like emotionally to entrust your own teen to the Pastor of Student Ministries as they head off for a mission trip to a foreign country. I know what it's like to not hit REM sleep until they walk in the door about 5 minutes to midnight. I know what it's like to have a teen not give you answers you want or the discussion you want to have about their Sunday School class. I truly began to empathize and not only sympathize. And it was pretty exciting and intriguing.

And I began to notice how much wisdom and experience that the generation that precedes mine isn't being used to full potential in the Church. Here we've got these members of our Body with all this wisdom and life experience and all the ups and downs of a long walk with Christ...

...and we've got all these teenagers with energy and excitement and enthusiasm...

...and we've got a whole bunch of us in between that can learn a little from each generation...

...it seems to me that those possibilities are endless.

My excitement and enthusiasm for the new role is something that took me by surprise...and it's been brewing for a couple of years. So, it was very cool when this set of new responsibilities came across my desk. I jumped at the chance as well as the challenge. It'll be a lot of work. But it'll be fun, too.

And you'll be hearing a lot about a converging congregation, I assure you. It's where my heartbeat speeds up these days just thinking about it.

What I learned, Part 2? That we're all built by God with passions, gifts and talents to be used for His glory, and those are continually in the process of development.

I think I'm really going to enjoy the next 17 of these...