19 Things I Learned In 19 Years of Youth Ministry, Part 7

She lived in the guest room and did (and still does) lots of artsy things...and didn't let seminary rip those out of her like many do.
He lived in the guest room and was a barista (he has since moved on).
She married him and inspires with her passions.
He got the nickname Shrek and builds great relationships with teens.
He wore a kilt and is building on Dave's foundation and your rake walls.
She was the impetus for starting a ministry that only God could've built because it started at 6AM.
He married her, and graduated from your seminary, and plants churches.
He came through your ministry and worked for you...and now he's off to seminary in the fall.
She came through your ministry and worked for you.
(both of them are more gifted than you are, too.)
He ran the middle school ministry early on, and now serves as a firefighter.
She came to you to discuss quitting basketball so she could go on mission trips.
He used to come into your house right at dinner time. He married a girl you prayed for and leads her spiritually. She returns the favor.
She might be the most gifted teen you ever served and she doesn't like that pressure, but rocks on, like Saskatchewan, anyway.
He really likes her likes her, which speaks volumes about him.
She's the head cheerleader and you're smiling because you see her growth.
She was a cheerleader and you're smiling because you've seen her growth.
He laughed and cut up with you, worked for you, and now works for a prominent Christian band.
He sold sports memorabilia with you at the mall and he works for a prominent Christian "goth" band.
He causes you to laugh more than with any former student and asks you to recommend him for your seminary.
She married him, was a homecoming queen and the world really is her oyster.
She's a fantastic wife and mother.
He used to be a bodybuilder and everybody said he got married too young but he serves faithfully, in his home and in his church and at his office.
She wasn't on your initial list, but now she's one of the servants you depend on most.
He kind of got kicked out of his old youth group, but then called you to come see him get baptized even though you only worked with him a year. He's now majoring in youth ministry.
He pitches. Well. And goes on mission trips teaching how to throw a curve ball and how to love Christ.
He's in continual motion, both physically & mentally, and continually coming up with ways to make millions, but always in the context of how Christ wired him.
She marched in the band and viewed it as her ministry. Still does.
She was Juliet, and now a full-bore mom Austinite nurse in the very best sense of each of those words.
He counsels at summer camp and you keep trying to figure out how to get him on your staff.
She teaches inner city kids who are trying to overcome incredible odds, and she should be doing that because she knows about that first-hand.
She played soccer and might be the funniest person you know...and one of the most encouraging.
She trusted you enough to let her read her Stephen King-esque writings, and breathed a sigh of relief when you let her know that her "twisted" is actually a form of "normal."
She beat cancer, and you see that same tenacity in her spiritual life to know Christ...and it's endearing.
He's very tall and has served faithfully behind-the-scenes in your ministry for years.
He's a kid magnet.
He's in youth ministry, full-time.
He's in college ministry, full-time.
He's teaching a Bible study of 9th grade guys.
He's working for a denomination's office, writing curriculum.
He's with the Lord, walking worthy even as he was losing his 22 year battle with CF.
(all five of them were in your 2nd Bible study, making you think this gig was all too easy)
She uses academia to glorify Christ.
She graduated early, and won't stop going on mission trips and is going to your seminary.
She played basketball, then quit, and now wants to go into Christian counseling, and is going to your seminary.
She's lived abroad, done an internship with a great church, and she's going to your seminary, too.

And, you know what?
I could do this all day.

I could rattle off the kids that have been through my ministry and you've watched God do amazing things both in and through each and every one of them.

And I could stick my chest out and say, "Take a look at all the 'fruit' of my ministry."

I could even be spiritual and phrase it, "Take a look at all the 'fruit' that God is producing in the ministry to which He's entrusted me."

But deep in the back of my mind there's a certain reality (which is the 7th thing I've learned in 19 years):

Apples don't fall far from trees.

Just like God actually causes growth, if you're honest, the "success" stories from your ministry really have more to do with great parenting.

And, truth be told, that street runs both ways, too. You don't have to kick yourself too hard if you don't have a long list of "success." Rare is it the child that walks worthy despite an awful parenting situation. It's beautiful when it happens, but don't count on too many of those.

These teens all have parents. Each of which is the God-ordained spiritual authority in their lives and most of the time you see the kind of growth that encourages you, 98% of the time, you can chalk that up more to your reinforcement of what they were already getting in the other 165 hours in a week you weren't with them (best-case scenario, too, to even get 3 hours).

A child's spiritual growth is NOT your role.
God.
Parents.
Then, maybe...
...and that's a big maybe...
...you get third billing.

And if you don't see yourself as a servant of the ministry of parents, designing it in such a way as to walk alongside them as they disciple their children, you won't last long in this game.