I Must Be A Gracker

So, my friend Kristen sends me an article from NYMag.Com entitled Up With Grups.

"Grups" is the newest term for trend-setting 30-somethings. The author borrowed the term from the old Star Trek television show where the Enterprise crew finds a planet of children. Apparently, the adults died from a virus that greatly slowed the aging process and kill anyone who grew up. The children called Captain Kirk a "grup"...which is simply a contraction for "grown-up."

So, the article talked about how this generation of 30-somethings is re-defining adulthood, and kind of erasing any generation gap that might exist.

The best line in the article is "This is an obituary for the generation gap. It is a story about 40-year-old men and women who look, talk, act, and dress like people who are 22 years old. It's not about a fad but about a phenonmenon that looks to be permanent." There's another good line about crossing a portal when you become an adult that uses a Biblical reference about putting away childish things and how they tend to ignore it.

In reality, this is nothing new. Yuppies in the 80's did the same thing, they just spent money on lavish things...but it was still a "Peter Pan" syndrome kind of thing. Hippies in the 60's were really kicking against societal norms to avoid becoming a part of them. I'm a card carrying GenX-er and our version was labeled "slacking." (I, however, maintain it was anything but slacking--but I digress)

The article is funny, like when it talks about playing the hippest music in the house for the 2-year-old because, "let's face it, 2-year-olds have lousy taste in music, and we will NOT listen to the Wiggles in this house!" There are also references to wearing sneakers everywhere all the time and turning down promotions because it's "just another word for slavery." The article also highlights the blue jean-driven fashion...when you can add anything from an Armani blazer to a concert shirt to it.

In fact, they look like this:

photo courtesty New York Metro

See it's sort of a "bourgeois bohemian" thing with a youthful attitude...and good jobs.

And there was so much I identified with.

Like sneakers. I would add Doc Martens and a pair of Birkenstocks to the mix. I'm big on comfort, of which suits most certainly are not. Now, I don't like the "ongoing rock-starification of America" where we don't shave for three days or whatever because we want to say to the world that we can do whatever we want because we're successful and we're sticking it to the man...but that's just personal preference.

Like the relationship with your children being one of respecting their personhood and using your influence to enjoy them while shaping them, too. And appreciating your parents, too. The intergenerational relationship aspect deeply appeals to me.

And looking at your job as what it is: A job. There's life to be lived, and that axiom, "If you want to motivate a Baby Boomer, give him a bonus check. If you want to motivate a GenX-er, give him the day off." couldn't be more true. Pursuing life is more than having a career. I don't want the corner office or fancy title, either. Another good line from the author: "No thanks. You can keep your carrot and your stick."

And loving your children and spending time with them. A good line: "Here's the bad news about kids: They're not cool. Especially little kids. Like 2 year-olds? Forget it. Left to their own devices, they don't dress well, they have no sense of style, and frankly their musical tastes [stinks]." (edit mine) But then the folks intereviewed talk about it isn't time to tell the kids to "turn that garbage down" but rather listen with them and discuss things, or taking up skateboarding with them. The idea was getting to know them and let them discover who they are and let them see who you are. It's about a loving, understanding relationship.

So, yeah. I relate to the Grups...but not quite.

See, I like to think I live by intent. Lemme explain.

I'm not trying to be cool or hip or trendy with my clothes. They're not much of a statement one way or another. I wear jeans and t-shirts with generic button down overshirt (only the bottom button buttoned, though) and sneakers (or Birks or Docs) because they're comfortable. I'm really that simple. I watched my grandfather come home from his corporate VP world every Friday and change out of his suit into some khaki's and a button down. It was very Mr. Rogers. He only wore sneakers when he washed the car on Saturday. That, and shining shoes, never appealed to me at all. But my clothes aren't a statement. Sometimes, they're just your clothes...and if the jeans have a hole in 'em...well...much more better.

And about parenting: See, I see children as a blessing from the Lord. I am also aware that I'm supposed to raise a child in the way THEY should go. This involves two main points: First and foremost, I do want very much to enjoy my children. To laugh with them. To be involved in the things they're involved in. To chat with them. All that stuff is terribly enjoyable, from muppets to Dr. Suess to hearing their thoughts on democracy they parrot from their middle school teachers. I've never had problems understanding how God has blessed me with them nor enjoying them.

Secondly, there is a way they are supposed to go. God designed them with something in mind and it's my role to help them figure out what that is...and then have the grace to step aside and let them pursue Him and that particular way. I've always viewed parenting at a temporary stewardship, which will have an end point and then I get my wife back. This would require that I get to know them as people and become an avid student of what makes them tick. There lie the clues in the way they're supposed to go. Along the way I let them in on who I am, too. I'm finding that the teen years don't have to be this angst-filled rebellious phase where we don't understand each other...but rather an enjoyable time to get to know them as they develop their own ideas about the world and make their faith their own.

And, about my career choices: I never bought into the corporate world because it wasn't me. See, God built me with certain passions and gifts and talents. And people often ask me why I would want to spend all day every day with teenagers. The reality is that I ask them, "Why do you assume I have a choice?" See, I do what I do because it's what God built me to do. Money was never a consideration (although as I push toward retirement that'll surely be a statement I may re-think, eh?)...and it won't be. But God built other people with passions for teaching, accounting, corporate presidencies, entrepreneurs, politics, etc. The kingdom is big enough for all of us and hey, if the corner offices and fancy titles slip into the equation, then more power to the corner offices and fancy titles. I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss them out of hand any more than I would pursue them...but it isn't because of a disdain for them. It just isn't me.

So, if that makes me a Grup, so be it.
Or a slacker, well, there you go.
Or a hybrid of such (Grupker?), then there we are.

But actually, I think think it makes me a follower of Christ, striving for authenticity and walking a journey that gives me freedom to be who He created me to be.

And all of a sudden, I wonder what the author would write about me and the many many folks I know doing the same thing, and what he'd call us.