Alrighty Then

Regarding a discussion thread that has transpired here at The Diner:

First of all, generally speaking, I don't like to respond to comments. My blog entries are my thoughts on whatever has happened that day or that week or on the news and it gives me an outlet to write. That's how I'm wired. It's what I do. It helps me think and analyze and review and yes, sometimes I "think out loud." This gives some degree of freedom to reverse field on occasion (like the Iraq war, which my feelings tend to reverse almost daily) or stand even more resolute (like my views on what should be a commitment to a public transportation system that works).

The reason I generally don't respond to the comments is because I feel like whatever readers I have (why they're interested in my ramblings varies, I suppose) can use the comments to say whatever they like as well. It gives me feedback and helps me think. That's how I get sharpened by others and live a deeper life. It's an on-line manner to conduct community.

And that's why I don't turn on any features that would allow me to block anonymous comments. That way the forum can be heard by anyone...from both the fringe and the mainstream...and it's ideas that matter.

Hence, I'm somewhat amused by the trail this discussion went down.

See, this all started because I took my daughter to a rock and roll show. Nothing more. Nothing less. Now, people are questioning my sanity or my ability to be a shepherd or praising my parenting skills. I'd suggest, as in most cases, the truth is somewhere in the middle of all that.

The point of the original blog was such that I felt alive at the show. What I meant was a generic feeling of adrenaline/excitement/wow-factor kind of thing. Let me try to better explain what I mean by sharing with you other times of feeling alive:

When I saw my bride on our wedding day.
At my father's funeral when I was 13
The first time I was in the Rockies at 12,000 feet and there's another peak higher than me.
When 85,214 people cheering their lungs out when Auburn beat Florida in 1993.
The birth of both my daughters.
Singing "All Hail The Power of Jesus' Name" full-throated with the rest of my classmates at Dallas Seminary's chapel services.
The first sermon I preached at Crossroads, and the first one I preached in Holland as the first time our church officially did missions on European soil.
Last night listening to my seniors give their graduation address to my students.
Watching my sister on her wedding day and seeing the joy & contentment in her life at that moment standing on a cliff at Half Moon Bay.
Watching my oldest start a rally in softball that led to the city championship in the bottom of the last inning, or watching my youngest hit the stage in her company's production of "The Nutcracker."

I could go on and on, but I'm hoping you get the point.

The degrees of alive vary, but they were all "pure life moments" where you just felt alive. And, yes, I felt alive watching my kid feel alive at the show Friday night...I could just see it. It was palpable...and I was glad my kid was having one of those moments.

Please re-read the entry of last Saturday. I never once mentioned that this feeling of alive was because of the band itself. In fact, I said that I didn't "get it." I still don't. They're not MY favorite band.

If you must know, right now, that title would have to fall on Stavesacre--a band made up entirely of Christians who, I think, do what Bullets and Octane does, only better. Derek Webb is making a push for the top spot. Lost and Found will always be in the mix somewhere. U2. Moby. Not that it matters...but they're all Christians. Maybe not your kind of Christians, but Christians nonetheless...at least to the degree we humans can discern as such.

Back to my discourse: The overall point was that we should all look at those moments that make us feel alive. Those'll be as varied as ourselves.

What started the discourse in a different way was this quote from a commenter: "Alive...Alive...Alive - how? Aren't we supposed to be alive in Christ and crucified with Him? Where is the passion for the Savior?" I agree. But this was one blog entry out of some 1,500 over a three year period. I think if you were to check around you'd see I've mentioned some of those moments as well. And I'm not sure how the anonymous commenter would respond to the question at hand which is, "What makes you feel alive?" I used the word "alive" in a non-theological way.

Then the discourse became an attack on the band. Yes, their album artwork is...ummmm...trying to be polite here...provocative? If I weren't...ummmm...trying to be polite here...I might go with exploitative and/or degrading?. Yes their lyrics are the stuff of the old P.M.R.C. I won't argue those facts. And they are facts. Inarguable. But saying they're good at what they do is like saying Michael Irvin was good at what he does (which is catch passes in the NFL). You might not like what he did off the field or even on the field, but he's good at it. Hall of Fame good at it. It doesn't mean that I endorse him or want my kids to be like him.

But two things are at play here:

First, the arguments of this nature usually go along the lines of "garbage in, garbage out." The computer term that means if you put garbage into the program, you'll get garbage out. However, the human brain is different than a computer program. See a brain can analyze and determine what is garbage and what isn't. It can take the trash out or it can mull it over a while to determine it's value or keep it.

See, we get garbage all day every day in the U.S. from advertising or walking through the grocery store check out line or newpaper writers or radio commentary or blogs or whatever. We have to analyze it and move on.

The general thought of many Christians is that if we put garbage in, then garbage automatically comes out. Not necessarily the case. We are told to take every thought captive in Scripture. We are told to dwell on what is lovely. We are told to renew our minds. There's a bunch of stuff like that all over the Bible. I know. I went to seminary. But even if I hadn't I can still read.

So, whether it's Eminem or Van Gogh's "Bible in Still Life" (which is an incredible anti-Christian statement but a beautiful work of art) or "Yakkity-Yak" by the Coasters (an anti-authority song of the worst kind--even having the father misuse a heroin reference, but if that song isn't a sing-a-long of the best kind, I don't know what is) or a hymn with some theological snafus right in there...In fact, Martin Luther wrote what we consider the classic hymns of the faith by putting words in with popular pub tunes in Germany (and wouldn't it be classic if 400 years from now the popular pub tunes were to some heavy metal group's tunes?) and I wonder where he might've heard those.

...all art will (and should) provoke.
...all art will be subjective with regard to it's merit & value. My mom and I went round and round about Elvis, the Beatles, the Everly Brothers, et al. I have no idea why that stuff appealed to her any more than I can explain why the Ramones did it for me or why Kenny Rogers or Waylon Jennings did it for my dad.
...and to get someone to change their view of the art isn't really possible. They have to change that themselves. Why does one person think Ravel is brilliant and another think he's a hack? Andy Warhol? Picasso? Van Gogh? The Dutch Masters? When I was 15 I had no idea who any of those people are...now I can see why they're all revered, even if I don't think Picasso was all that great.
...and if you do demean someone else's art choices, in many ways, you belittle that person. If something inspires, or provokes--in good and bad ways, encourages and all that to a person, and you belittle it, then you've demeaned that person to a degree.

Hence, if my daughter's view of "art" right now contains a bit of hard rock--even with rough lyrics and...ummmm...objectionable visuals, well, she's got to come to her own conclusions on the matter. But...

This will naturally lead to a discussion of parental influence in such matters. Please trust that I've had discussions with my daughter on her use of language, and how to view art, and "garbage in, garbage out." But you know something? She's a really good kid. She's in the top 10 academically in her class. Her teachers praise her when we go to parent nights. She goes on mission trips. She's active in her church, not to mention highly conversant in spiritual matters with me (we're currently going through Mike Yaconelli's "Messy Spirituality" each Tuesday night for a half-hour or so). She's a joy around the house (well...except Saturday mornings when she wakes up). She's smart. She's funny. She's a delight to me. She's a voracious reader and passionate baseball fan. She paints...mostly flowers and hearts and friends and peace signs and big into texture (all subjective, but I think they're pretty good, right?). So, guess what? I'll give her some leeway in her musical choices right now. If I see her being drawn to the darkness, I'll readjust...but I know that if I fought that battle I could lose much more than I gain. She's been through plenty of phases, including a Brittany Spears thing when she was 8 that she doesn't like me bringing up. But I know this: I'll trust the Holy Spirit to work in her heart and life in His time frame to develop this (and any other) area of her character. He's better at such things than I'll ever be.

I went through my own phases. The heavy-metal phase, followed by the punk phase, followed by college music, which morphed into Delta blues somehow, back to grunge, into 50's and 60's classics and now being drawn by folks like Lyle Lovett, Johnny Cash, et al. I'd imagine she'll go through several...but it isn't all-metal, all the time coming from her room. It's mood-driven. My mom didn't fight that battle with me as she had bigger fish to fry...and I'll give THIS daughter some leeway as long as she shows me the wonderful things she is overall.

However, I will say that I used my position of influence to help her analyze the whole club scene. I didn't, by intent, detail our discussions as I don't think my daughter's spiritual growth is anything I have the right to put out there for public discussion. Again, I'll have to trust that you understand that. Think of it as using the environment in many ways to my advantage while she's under my authority so when she's on her own she'll not have a curiousity of such places and go without "help," but rather see it for what it is.

Side note on "moshing": If you aren't in that culture (or subculture), or have never been in the culture, I won't bother trying to explain the culture. You simply can't do it in a way that's meaningful to the hearer. Suffice to say that it's something teenagers have been doing for about 25 years and even Christian concerts have it (football players do it before a game and nobody thinks much of it...it's part of the culture). Now, how does it glorify God? I dunno. Maybe the relationships built during the Christian concert? That sharing of time & experience strengthen relationships that can be used to sharpen each other. It's a reach, I know, but when I was first at CBC and the teens and I were at a festival and they asked me to mosh to Stavesacre with them...I thought it was the most loving thing to be a good sport so I mixed it up with them. I'm still friends with them 10 years later, and they each thought it was cool that their youth pastor would do something in their world. I didn't last year in a similar venue simply because I think it's sad to see a 40-year-old doing a kid thing (and yes, in youth minister years there's a HUGE difference between 30 and 40). The more likely explanation is that it's just part of the subculture...it's what they do. It's age appropriate goofiness. Kind of like a high school football pep rally.

Now as to the comment about "why expose your daughter to possible groping?" She made the choice to go...and she can indeed hold her own in such matters (remember, she's mixed it up in Christian environments FIRST so she knows the drill). Frankly, I'd be more concerned about the physical well-being of any creature that touched her that way...that kid can hold her own there or in a school hallway or whatever. And, don't forget Dad was right there to help out should she get over her head.

So, I'd say that I hardly did such things as leading my kid into the pits of darkness or pridefull drank deeply from the pits of iniquity. My license certainly knew boundaries, and not only that explained and exercised them fully. I didn't revel in the "filth" (which is subjective to the anonymous commenters position) or any of the other stuff I was accused of.

And, as far as leading others down a path to the "filth:" I don't appreciate "my sheep" being called DUMB. I believe the people I serve are highly educated, and frankly of above-average intelligence. They are not blind followers of people, but rather active followers of Christ. If some child turns out to be a wife-beating drunk, it's not because they went to a rock show with their parents, but I'd be willing to bet you that there were many more significant contributing factors...the last one being that they went to a concert with their dad.

There was a comment, too, that said, "As my mom used to say, 'tell me who you go with and I'll tell you what you are.' Okay. My closest friends are Dave Semmelbeck, Bill Lee, Tim Stevenson, Melissa Rowe, Nathan Lee, Steve Davis, their wives/spouses, Kristy Brown & Heather Smith. You can draw your own conclusions.

A note about Social Distortion: Isn't that what Jesus was prime at doing? Weren't his most stinging words held for those in the fold and not "outsiders?" He was upsetting the status quo in the lives he touched and the society he was in. Maybe if the shirt had said simply REVOLUTION?

Finally, to the Gen-Y-er who commented: Thank you for the reminder about how we treat each other and how it's viewed by those outside the faith. And, I'm sorry that some things happened in your past that have affected your view of Christ by people purporting to represent Him. I, too, was perplexed by the vehemence and such of my readers. I can see why you're confused. I was, too.

So, all in all, I have Republican leanings. I've been married 17 years to a wonderfully gifted and talented woman I admire and I feel certain those feelings are reciprocated. I have two daugthers I love, one who skips school to go to Opening Day with me, and another who would skip school to go to the ballet if such things were mid-week matinees, and I love them. I feel certain those feelings are reciprocated as well. I have a great dog. I drive a Corolla. I live in the suburbs and mow my lawn even without covenant agreements.

I don't think I'm responsible for the decline in Western Civilization, and like to think, on occasion, I've helped people along their spiritual journey. I don't think I ooze arrogance nor do I embody false humility. I think I'm more of a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of guy...warts and all.

Like I said at the beginning of all this: All I did was take my daughter to a rock show. Nothing more. Nothing less.

And I still don't understand why I had to spend two hours to do this, but I hope you'll find it a sufficient explanation (but feel free to agree or disagree with what I did)...not to defend anything--I still don't think anything needs defending-- but rather to let you hear me "think out loud."

And hopefully, this'll be the last you hear from me on the subject.