The Life Of A P.K.

I know I've talked about it before--I think it was in August, but it's really on my brain this morning as I was praying for my children.

P.K.'s have an American stereotype.

Pastors' Kids. They're supposed to be this outwardly compliant group who measure up to some [edit] public standard of morality who inwardly are annoyed that they don't get to be "normal." They're also expected to act out those inner annoyances at some point in life in varying degrees of "rebellion." You've heard of this, right? Tell me I'm not crazy.

But, you know, I've been thinking about the P.K.'s at our church since I've been there and I've noticed a pattern: For the most part, they blow the stereotype out of the water.

There P.K.'s at our church are given free reign on exploring who they are and given a lot of grace as that process unfolds. And that exploration of who they are has turned out a nice variety of results, too. Some are still in the discovery phase...but that's good, too. Some do full-time vocational ministry, but others are glorifying God in the giftedness He gave them in the working world...and it's pretty cool to see what they're all up to these days.

I guess it's been a worry of mine ever since my kids have put up with their dad being the youth pastor for so long and all that entails. I don't make it easy for them with my quirks and idiosyncracies and appearance but they seem to roll with it. And, thus far, they seem joyful and well-adjusted. So that's good. We'll see how things play out. ;)

But today, I'm thankful for a congregation that has been well-taught, pastors & wives who blazed a trail at CBC to allow all our children (and the ones who will come along later) to be who they're supposed to be (knowing that failure here and there was all part of the process), and a slew of P.K.'s who enjoyed being a part of our church family (and it showed).

There were little annoyances in their experiences that appear universal to the gig. For example:

They learned to bring books to church before they could drive on their own because they learned that "We're going to leave in 5 minutes. Just let me run upstairs to my office real fast first." really meant that 45 minutes later they'd be leaving as somebody could stop dad in a hallway to chat anytime, anywhere.

They learned that dad would get criticized and folks wouldn't necessarily care if their ears heard it or not, but they knew dad better than that person and understood it revealed more about that person than that person was aware they were observing that little moment and making spiritual evaluations. Some of my best teaching moments have come from those situations.

That sometimes their dad was "on call" and that night together as a family could disappear as soon as the phone rang.

There were some great experiences that appear universal to the gig. For example:

They learned that a perk of being a P.K. was that dad could usually finagle them onto a trip that was sold out or an event they forgot to sign up for or grab a leftover missions meal.

They learned that folks in the congregation would usually bend over backwards to help them out with whatever they could, from car repairs to mission trips to hand-me-downs and all sorts of stuff like that. They learned that what people in the FlowerPlex considered "junk" was a goldmine to a teenager.

They learned that some folks in the congregation would come up to them and say things like, "Your dad is such a wise and patient man, and you are so blessed to have him as your father." They knew dad better than that person and understood that it was nice that person felt that way, but dad had his moments, too. Some of my best teaching moments have come from those situations, too.

I have virtually limitless examples of both blessings and annoyances, but you get the point, right?

But today, I'm glad my church has given us an extended family to love on our kids.
I'm thankful all CBC kids figured that out and responded appropriately to that love.
I'm thankful God had shown us He's at work in their lives in so many creative ways.
I'm thankful they've shown us that P.K.'s don't have to have major seasons of rebellion.
I'm thankful for the pastors at CBC and their wives who actively pushed for our kids to live lives as "normal" as possible.
I'm thankful for all the gestures of support as we've parented our kids.
I'm thankful they've responded to His leading and gone "the way they should go." It's so cool to see that.

And, now that most are adults, I'm thankful for the ways they've encouraged me and helped me grow spiritually. While I'm at it, I'm thankful for the ways they encouraged me and helped me grow spiritually when they were in my ministry.

I'm thankful I can be friends with them.

And last, but certainly not least, I'm thankful to a church family that "gets it."

It's one more nice little "perk" of being a pastor at CBC.