Advice
I was thinking about little bits and pieces of advice I've gotten at various points in my life that really made a difference, and I thought I'd come up with six really good ones.
The first one that came to mind was when my mom (a.k.a. "Charlotte the Scar") gave me a little reality check they day I left for college. She said, "You know, there are going to be some tough times in the next few weeks, but don't call or come home until the end of the quarter. And, remember, this is now your house. Home is where you put your boots at night. You're always welcome here and I'd love for you to come back often, but you're 18 now, and you know right from wrong and your actions only affect you. I hope you make wise choices." Then she went back in "my house" but I'm sure she knew what she was doing because it profoundly defined her letting go of her son. I remember the 2-hour drive to college being somewhat confusing and I drove in silence thinking about it.
Another was from a baseball coach. I expressed some worry about going off to college since I'd never been a great student (Diner reader Hal might remember the day our grade & class rank were posted for the first time--which was the day before graduation at rehearsal I might add--that I finished one spot behind Brooke Dake who was lovable but widely regarded as airheaded) and he said, "McKinney, look. You're bright. You always get the job done even if it isn't to the best of your ability yet. Just eat right, get enough sleep and go to class and you'll be fine." And if you think about it, if you're eating right and sleeping right and going to class, then a lot of those behaviors that cause you to flunk out of college aren't going to be done.
One from an English teacher: "Scholar McKinney (she called all her students "scholars"), you do know that it's okay to read a lot and write a lot, don't you?" It's funny that I kept those little secrets from most everyone I knew in high school because I thought they'd make fun of me for reading and writing and enjoying both. I have no idea why I thought that, but it took until my senior year in high school and an English teacher to say it out loud for me to have permission to be myself. I still didn't become myself until that first semester of college when I got a big do-over socially like everybody else who goes off to school.
Another from my mom, when I was bringing in those subpar grades in high school. She was surprisingly calm about all of it, just nodding after glancing over a few C's and D's (Chemistry and Algebra II), signed the report card and gave it back to me. When I told her I was kind of surprised that she didn't ground me or take the car keys or anything, she said, "They're not my grades, son. I've already got mine, complete with a grad school degree. If you want to close a bunch of doors for yourself and spend the rest of your life working at the movie theatre (--side note: I love movies and I loved that job and could've done it for my life), that's your business." Wow. Of course, it was a bit too late in high school at that point to do much with that information, but my grades in college were better than in high school...and grad school was way better than college.
One from a girlfriend, after we'd had one of the nicest break-ups in the history of break-ups...we both liked each other but it just didn't work out. We really were two different people and apparently acted on common sense instead of just going along with the habit we'd formed for about four months. She'd noticed that Tracy and I were VERY good friends and actually said, as I was leaving her apartment, "You know, you should start dating Tracy. You won't be very much good to any other girl until you decide if you're going to be just friends with her or whatever." What she didn't know is that I'd kissed Tracy on New Year's Eve (a few days before the break-up, and playing it off to her as "just one of those things that happened at midnight on New Year's Eve.") and was leaving her place to start taking that very piece of advice within minutes.
One last one from a former youth pastor of mine: "You know, if you follow Christ, it's nothing like most Christians portray it. It's revolutionary. And He will do all sorts of things in and through you that will make you really dangerous." He knew perfectly well that his punk-rock loving student would respond in droves to the idea of personal change and the idea of being dangerous in society was right up my alley. I've always been drawn to those aspects of Christ, and I think he knew it.
So, what advice did you get that always stayed with you?
I was thinking about little bits and pieces of advice I've gotten at various points in my life that really made a difference, and I thought I'd come up with six really good ones.
The first one that came to mind was when my mom (a.k.a. "Charlotte the Scar") gave me a little reality check they day I left for college. She said, "You know, there are going to be some tough times in the next few weeks, but don't call or come home until the end of the quarter. And, remember, this is now your house. Home is where you put your boots at night. You're always welcome here and I'd love for you to come back often, but you're 18 now, and you know right from wrong and your actions only affect you. I hope you make wise choices." Then she went back in "my house" but I'm sure she knew what she was doing because it profoundly defined her letting go of her son. I remember the 2-hour drive to college being somewhat confusing and I drove in silence thinking about it.
Another was from a baseball coach. I expressed some worry about going off to college since I'd never been a great student (Diner reader Hal might remember the day our grade & class rank were posted for the first time--which was the day before graduation at rehearsal I might add--that I finished one spot behind Brooke Dake who was lovable but widely regarded as airheaded) and he said, "McKinney, look. You're bright. You always get the job done even if it isn't to the best of your ability yet. Just eat right, get enough sleep and go to class and you'll be fine." And if you think about it, if you're eating right and sleeping right and going to class, then a lot of those behaviors that cause you to flunk out of college aren't going to be done.
One from an English teacher: "Scholar McKinney (she called all her students "scholars"), you do know that it's okay to read a lot and write a lot, don't you?" It's funny that I kept those little secrets from most everyone I knew in high school because I thought they'd make fun of me for reading and writing and enjoying both. I have no idea why I thought that, but it took until my senior year in high school and an English teacher to say it out loud for me to have permission to be myself. I still didn't become myself until that first semester of college when I got a big do-over socially like everybody else who goes off to school.
Another from my mom, when I was bringing in those subpar grades in high school. She was surprisingly calm about all of it, just nodding after glancing over a few C's and D's (Chemistry and Algebra II), signed the report card and gave it back to me. When I told her I was kind of surprised that she didn't ground me or take the car keys or anything, she said, "They're not my grades, son. I've already got mine, complete with a grad school degree. If you want to close a bunch of doors for yourself and spend the rest of your life working at the movie theatre (--side note: I love movies and I loved that job and could've done it for my life), that's your business." Wow. Of course, it was a bit too late in high school at that point to do much with that information, but my grades in college were better than in high school...and grad school was way better than college.
One from a girlfriend, after we'd had one of the nicest break-ups in the history of break-ups...we both liked each other but it just didn't work out. We really were two different people and apparently acted on common sense instead of just going along with the habit we'd formed for about four months. She'd noticed that Tracy and I were VERY good friends and actually said, as I was leaving her apartment, "You know, you should start dating Tracy. You won't be very much good to any other girl until you decide if you're going to be just friends with her or whatever." What she didn't know is that I'd kissed Tracy on New Year's Eve (a few days before the break-up, and playing it off to her as "just one of those things that happened at midnight on New Year's Eve.") and was leaving her place to start taking that very piece of advice within minutes.
One last one from a former youth pastor of mine: "You know, if you follow Christ, it's nothing like most Christians portray it. It's revolutionary. And He will do all sorts of things in and through you that will make you really dangerous." He knew perfectly well that his punk-rock loving student would respond in droves to the idea of personal change and the idea of being dangerous in society was right up my alley. I've always been drawn to those aspects of Christ, and I think he knew it.
So, what advice did you get that always stayed with you?
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