Stuff They Didn't Teach Me In Seminary, Part 3

(this is the last entry in a series that started on Monday)

That Depravity of Man Thing: Yeah, We Meant That, Too. Sure, at seminary they taught us those Bible verses we know that support the reality that humans are innately evil. You'll see behaviors that will surprise you at first, from people that will surprise you at first. When people come to church or some other gathering of Christians they usually put on their best face. We do clean up nice, too. But the reality of it is, any one is capable of any sin at any time. There will be days that this will be crystal clear to you, too.

There's Not One Person On The Planet That Isn't Affected By Someone Else's Stupid Decisions. That's really a maxim that could go in any office, but sometimes we have polyanna visions of what ministry in a church truly is. At the bottom line, it's a job, and the things that go on in any office will go on in your office, too. Just becuase they follow Christ doesn't mean that they won't bring up some hokey idea and you disagree behind closed doors, but then have to give public support to that idea. Or, it could be some new change in policy that doesn't work or some new machine that's supposed to increase productivity but takes three weeks of training to learn how to run it or whatever. Just watch "Office Space" or "The Office" and laugh your way through it, because this just means you're normal.

God Is Bigger Than The Muck. There are times when that depravity of man thing will overwhelm you because you're associated with it. The bigger ones tend to involve financial mismanagement or sexual immorality--but they could be any public sin...and you might work for organizations that have leaders fall to those temptations. There will be a lot of collatoral damage in any public failure of a leader and the ripples can go on for a while and you never really know when or where they'll hit. But, God loves His church, will protect it and do what's best for it...and you'll do well to learn to trust God through the dark times. The unfortunate reality is that you might just have to go through it more than once.

You're Not Really That Big Of A Deal. You might graduate from a highly respected seminary that gets "oohs" and "ahhs" from those that are aware of it (but even then, TONS of people have never heard of it), but don't get too carried away by their opinions. Because, on graduation day, the seminary will *ahem* humbly stick their chests out and tell you that you're now equipped to do the work of ministry, but you're not really. Folks will leave the business world and go into ministry or teaching or coaching or the like and people will rise up and call them noble for "walking away from so much" (never really thinking that those of us who walked away from it in our early 20's never had the chance to get the golden parachute--and I really think if I applied myself I could've been a success--but I'm digressing) so pretty much God equips whoever He needs at that time--seminary education or not. Every minute of every day requires you walking with your God and being Spirit-led or you'll do great things for all the wrong reasons. The first part of your job description is to walk authentically with your God...and since He has a past of using things like sticks of wood or jawbones of an ass to do His work, well, that's pretty much a good analogy.

Youth Ministry Is NOT That Much Fun For You. There have been a lot of youth ministry programs that look like so much fun! I mean, you get to go on ski trips and go to camps and play WhirlyBall and have lock-ins and go on mission trips and this and that and that other thing. And you get PAID! What a job, right? Ever tried to get 76 teenagers to wake up, eat breakfast, get to the bus stop ON TIME with their boots/poles/lift-tickets/bibs/hats/gloves/and oh yeah skis, show them the lunch meeting place, get the rookies to lessons, and one last thing, if you can wear the medic-alert beeper in case one of your teens goes to the infirmary, do you really think that's either easy or fun? How about 140 people camping out for a week in Mexico building houses, arranging for travel teams, tools, vans, trailers, drivers, busses, hotel roooms in various amounts over a 4 day period, and don't even get me started on the various allergies and what kids need what medicines and how the heck do you get all that water across the border so it'll be safe to drink. Notice what I didn't mention? Yeah, the kids working 8 hours a day in 105 degree heat. Ever try to run a lock-in at the end of a 50 hour work week and then work through the staying up all night bit? Yeah, it's all fun and games.

Teenagers Say Thank You In The Best Ways. Forget what everybody says about how awful teenagers are. They're incredible, and they do find ways to tell you how much they love and appreciate you. It might be rolling your yard with crepe paper to celebrate your anniversary at the church or they might make a big fuss over your birthday even though you didn't tell anybody, or they might make a photo of themselves and frame it and put all sorts of inside jokes on it, or they might invite you to come see their play or game or read the article they just got published in the school paper or sit with them while they walk you through the yearbook that just came out that they edited the "life" section...and don't even get me started on Senior Speech night or graduation day. You can have your golden parachutes, man. There's no amount of money in the world that can balance out when a teenager, during their senior speech says, "Thank you. For everything." Except maybe when they ask you to perform their wedding ceremony years later. That one's really good, too.

You'll Be Guilty By Association. The world will lump you in with all those cartoon images of Christians. You'll be accused of being like those TV preachers who only want money or one of those kooks who's against (insert political group here) or like that pastor of the megachurch or one of those nuts with a fish on their car or even (ACK!) Republicans. It's nothing personal--and it helps if you'll remember that God's Kingdom is certainly big enough for TV preachers and stem-cell research opponents and megachurch pastors/members and soccer moms with not only a big fish but a little fish for each of their kids and Republicans and well, even YOU with all your quirks and warts and smells and bad attitudes. We'll all be rubbing shoulders for eternity so you might want to remember that just because they're not YOUR kind doesn't mean they aren't His kind.

And that seems like a pretty good one to end on...were there any I left out?