Monday, August 21, 2006

You Rock, Rock. You Show Us How To Just Sit Here.

I dunno.

I'm having an awful time taking advantage of my day off.

I'd like a hobby.
I'd like to work out.
I'd like to go on afternoon dates with my wife.
I'd like to write.
I'd like to read more.
I'd like to relax in the hammock, but with our temperatures never getting below 80 these days, it's just too darn hot.

But after coffee with Kelsey, a nap, lunch with Shelby, another nap, doing a couple of chores around the house and waiting until 7PM to mow the lawn, I'm tired again. I'll go to bed and watch the nightly news. I'll probably fall asleep during it.

Maybe my expectations are too high...I mean, I had real conversations with both my daughters about important stuff and not so important stuff. I listened to three really good sermons today while doing chores and mowing.

Maybe I need to decompress and those things are ways to do it. Maybe I don't need to read or write or get a hobby or work out.

Maybe I need those Existential Detectives like in the movie "I Heart Huckabees."

But I feel like I'm just sitting around...
...taking up space, trying to decompress or recover or whatever words are out there. It's very surreal.

And for some reason I feel kinda guilty...like I should've done more or "accomplished" something, even if that "accomplishment" was learning a new song on the guitar or running or finishing a book.

Kind of like I "wasted" a day...even if I know the day wasn't a total waste.

This is a peculiar feeling.

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