They Don't Know What They Don't Know

An article in The Birmingham News highlighted something that's going on around the country.

There were 62 cheerleading spots available. 74 girls trying out. Do the math. Parents of the 12 girls raise a stink. 74 spots become available.

This is in no way a slam at the Great State of Alabama...this kind of thing goes on everywhere.

A few years ago, in our community, a similar thing happened. Another time, some cheerleaders got drunk, threw up in class, got dismissed from the squad (because they signed a 'contract' of some sort that said they'd be teetotalers during the season) and were going to miss their senior banquet (because that was all that was left of the school year), Daddy threatened lawsuit, they got to attend their banquet.

Parents question grades. Parents write letters when their children don't win an art show and want to know why. Parents get on coaches about their kids lack of playing time. I could go on, but you get the point.

Parents are the problem.

Now, our school district doesn't have "cuts" in any sport or extracurricular activity. Maybe that's the way it should be.

Now cheerleaders don't have to sign behavioral contracts. Maybe that's the way it should be.

Now, art shows show all the art from all the kids. Maybe that's the way it should be, too.

But how are these kids going to learn to deal with disappointment? How are they going to learn that actions have consequences? How are they going to realize that they don't measure up to others and maybe should focus their energies in other areas?

In some ways I feel sorry for parents in this day and age. It's tough. And I know it's tough to see your child get disappointed. It's hard to watch your kids hurt and discouraged.

But, as I see it, the goal of parenting isn't a happy 15 year-old...it's a functioning 25 year-old who needs to know that sometimes you don't get the job, or if you get drunk at the company party and pop off to the boss you'll get fired, or that sometimes you aren't as good as the other guy at one thing (but maybe you compliment their weaknesses) so you should just let that guy do it...

Parents are really missing a great opportunity here, and instead they're settling on helping their kids wear the cheerleading skirt they never got to, or whatever.

Somebody should write a book. And a good one...one that doesn't involve your child's "self-esteem."