Influence: More Questions Than Answers Today

"My child, if sinners try to entice you, do not consent! If they say, “Come with us! We will lie in wait to shed blood; we will ambush an innocent person capriciously. We will swallow them alive like Sheol, those full of vigor like those going down to the Pit. We will seize all kinds of precious wealth; we will fill our houses with plunder. Join with us! We will all share equally in what we steal.” My child, do not go down their way, withhold yourself from their path; for they are eager to inflict harm, and they hasten to shed blood. Surely it is futile to spread a net in plain sight of any bird, but these men lie in wait for their own blood, they ambush their own lives! Such are the ways of all who gain profit unjustly; it takes away the life of those who obtain it!"--Proverbs 1: 10-19.

I'm reading Proverbs a lot for a discussion group that I'm a part of that meets on Sunday nights. We spend more time praying these days than we do discussing what's in the text...and I'm not entirely sure that's a bad thing. But the point is that I'm reading sections of Proverbs. I'm not entirely sure that's a bad thing, either.

Anyway, this little section deals with peer pressure. Granted, the particular pressure here deals with a gang. A gang that will ambush, steal and split the spoils. It's not really a problem I struggle with. I don't think I'd be a very good gang member, frankly. Unless the gang were somehow ambushing librarians or Barnes & Noble employees who smuggled books from their employers. Then I might be seriously enticed to seizing precious wealth and filling my shelves with plunder.

But the issue at hand is the influence of others to get you to do things you might not be inclined to take part in if you had your faculties about you. And, for most of us, we've struggled in various ways with societal types of pressure since we were kids.

My maternal grandfather was a big believer in getting a college education. He stressed it with his own children, and through his own influence and the continued influence of his children, that desire trickled down to his grandkids.

My parents were very big on "yes, ma'am" and "no, sir" and responding to adults and authority figures with respect.

In middle school, I purchased a 6' x 4' KISS poster and carried it around Six Flags Over Georgia all day because all my buddies were buying posters of their favorite bands. Later, I'd purchase Farrah Fawcett and Bo Derek because my friends were pretty much in awe that my mom would actually let me hang them on the walls of my room.

In high school, I'd wear plastic replica batting helmets of Major League teams backwards because me and my friends were into them one spring and summer. They were uncomfortable and mildly irritating but I'd go spend $2 per helmet at Hibbett's Sporting Goods to get a new one even though minimum wage was $3.35 an hour.

In college, in the fraternity house, a great deal went on that probably needed somebody to put the kibosh on, but silence ruled the day from my end...both in a reactive sense as well as a proactive sense. In other words, my silence equalled agreement in some cases and my silence failed to positively influence those around me.

I could go on. You could give your own examples, too. But in each of those times, I didn't really stop to think about what I was doing. I just did what I was told, trusting in the beliefs of others, and sometimes it "worked" and sometimes that didn't "work" and sometimes it was "wise" and sometimes it was "unwise." My point is that I just more or less went with the flow and didn't stop to think about the messages I was getting or sending or how I was being influenced.

But we tend to view influence as something we outgrow. We like the think we move on. We like to think we get past that. That we're our own people and think for ourselves. That we have a well-defined philosophy of living and follow that to logical, consistent conclusions.

I'm not so sure.

I'm not so sure as I examine my own life.

Because we get influenced every day. Billboards. Magazine covers. Commercials. Classrooms. Media in all forms. Folks around us that seem to have it all together. Books. And not only do we have the inherent messages, we also have the issue of how we're getting that message. The methodology...and it's important, too. We buy into a lot more than we think we do. Granted, we're not likely ambushing folks and splitting the spoils with our gang members. No, no. It's much more subtle than that.

The magazine covers that tell us we're not having enough sex or we don't look like [insert pop culture figure here].
Billboards that tell us about the conservative talk-show host who is right, or the hilarious morning DJ's, or the best strip club in town.
The neighbors who move into a bigger home after getting a big promotion.
The families who create so much demand that sports leagues play at midnight or fill up public parks from 8am to noon on Sunday.
The idea that class ranks are important beginning in 9th grade and that college is the key to a happy life. Not to mention the pressure for scholarships.
The belief that churches need to be a little more relevant and bend to cultural trends.
Little girls being taught dance moves and wearing clothes that even the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders don't do.
Little boys being pushed to play a sport year-round at age 7, when they might not be athletically inclined anyway.
Folks will laugh at "Everybody Loves Raymond" and that's cool because dads can take it, but yet, if Deborah were to get the same treatment the audience would "boo" and letter campaigns get started.
The romance novel with the cover or the Disney princess mindset that someday the prince will come and will always be princely and creating all sorts of unrealistic expectations.
That workaholics get praised for their commitment.

I could go on. It's not a lot of ground I haven't covered before.

And, yes, maybe we should be finding ways to serve and please our spouses. Maybe we should be working out to improve our health and appearance.
And maybe we do need to think about politics from another point of view, or relax to funny folks while we drive, or analyze why people would put hard-earned money into a stranger's underwear and why we might think that's a bad thing for us and our town.
And maybe getting a bigger home is enjoying the fruits of our labor and providing time to gather with family.
And maybe we need that friendship that comes from playing on a team of a sport we enjoy. And maybe we spend great family time with our kids and the sport they enjoy.
And maybe education is a very important reality to a student who has a desire to learn and strive to become what they want to become and be a good teacher or engineer or doctor or lawyer. And since when is working hard to earn a scholarship to pursue that debt-free a bad thing?
And how can it be bad if a church decides to present truth in such a way as to be more practical and accessible by more people as long as they don't bend doctrinally?
And dancing and playing dress-up is pretty normal, as is throwing the old ball around.
And sometimes Raymond has it coming to him and what's wrong with pointing that out in a comic way? And why not let Deborah get her yuks? Ultimately, it's just a television show designed to entertain for half an hour.
And what's the matter with a little imagination and storytelling? Nothing, really. Especially if they're well written or have catchy tunes to lift the spirits a bit.
And when is hard work a bad thing?

I could go on. There are two sides to the coin. Every coin. And making snap judgments and having inherent prejudices aren't the answer, either.

But I think the lesson is that we need to think more.
We need to analyze things more.
We need to take a good, hard look at who we are and what we're about.
We need to stop taking certain things for granted.
We need to avoid the tendency to go with the flows and just accept that "that's the way things are" and they won't/can't be changed.
We need to know what we believe and why we believe it.
We need to be willing to change.
We need to be willing to serve.
We need to be willing to love each other and the world around us.

And it's hard. Thinking is hard work, folks.
Change is hard work, folks.
And the influence of others is truly a bombardment of ideas, all of which need to be sifted.

Like I said in the title, I don't know that I have a lot of answers today.

But I do know that if we don't withhold ourselves from their path...

...they'll inflict pain in our lives.
...and they'll rob us of the abundant life.

That's all I've got for today, kids. I've rambled enough for now.