We Didn't Start The Fire

These are respected folks in our community, man.

They are what most Americans would term "successful" when it comes to their occupations. They enjoy what they do for a living, for the most part. They are happily married, for the most part. They have nice homes in our 'burb's surrounding the city, for the most part. They volunteer at our church, serving in various roles as deacons (who handle the business end of the ministry...money, logistics, facility upkeep, etc.), elders (who set the course for the ministry...the vision and the goals, etc.) and our staff--pastors, directors & administrators (who do the legwork of the ministry...the day-in, day-out care of people as they walk with Christ).

And, like many organizations, we have a staff Christmas party.

It's pretty typical of most organizations' Christmas parties. We have a nice meal together--spouses included--and laugh a lot. There's some entertainment and singing of some Christmas carols. Pretty much a good time had by a group of respected folks in our community who work together in ministry at a church.

Until...somehow...

...the topic turned to fires.

And, how, as kids, we were, at some point, setting fire to something we shouldn't be setting fire to or some fireworks incident that went awry.

So, here we are at this Christmas dinner together with respected folks in our community who work together in a ministry at a church, telling stories about...

...G.I. Joe with the Kung Fu Grip getting his Kung Fu Grip blown off with a firecracker (or another platoon of Joes who threw themselves on firecrakers...er..."grenades"...to save the rest of their platoon.
...bottle rockets tied to either Matchbox cars or balsa wood glider airplanes.
...mounds of toilet paper above the waterline in the toilet set on fire and flushed right before it got out of control.
...G.I. Joe, when he had real hair, having that hair set on fire and thrown off the roof--which allowed for his parachute to open and actually re-create the ejector seat right before his plane was shot down.
...tying knots in them and setting plastic bags on fire in such a way that it would make a great sound effect when it hit each knot.

...and it went on like this as each person entered the room. Everybody--wives included--joined in. It didn't take much provocation, either. "What're ya'll laughing at?"

"(Staff wife) was just telling us a story about how they tied knots in these plastic bags and set fire to them..."

"That reminds me of when we got these M-80's..."

And so it went.

Until the caroling started. And that was fun, too.

And maybe this should've been one of those "what's said at the Christmas party stays at the Christmas party" things.

But I have to say it was pretty much a surreal laugh riot to see these respected folks in our community who work together in a ministry at a church, telling stories about fires. Stuff they'd pounce on their children to cease and desist if they caught them doing it such.

So, what say we keep the party going, patrons?

(you enter) "What's so funny?"

"We were just talking about how we tied bottle rockets to Matchbox cars with rubber bands and..."

(you begin) "Hey! That reminds me of the time when..."