References

One of the occupational realities of my job is that my students will use me as a reference for various jobs they're applying for.

Now, I have no idea what's going on at the places that need references, but they usually go something like this:

"Hi, Mr. McKinney. My name is Jill Smith and I'm calling from [insert retail store name here]. Jane Doe has submitted your name as a reference and I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions if you have a minute or two?"

"Sure."

"Now, how do you know Jane?"

"Well, she's been in my youth group for 6 years."

"Uh-huh. Good. How well do you know Jane?"

"Pretty well. I mean, she's been on mission trips and retreats and I've had coffee with her every couple of months or so."

"Uh-huh. That's nice. And you think she'd be good at helping our business sell CD's and video games [or be a sandwich artist or be a hostess or waitress or tear movie tickets]?"

"Well, sure, I guess...I mean, I don't know how I would be able to..."

"Thanks so much for your time, Mr. McKinney. You've been very helpful, and I appreciate your time. Thanks again and have a nice day!"

Like I said, I don't have any idea what the retail establishment really needs. Maybe it's because of the nature of the McJob they're applying for that checking references is a formality. Or maybe just a routine test to see if they actually have a real person as a reference. Maybe teenagers don't have that much to refer since they tend not to have criminal records and haven't had a track record built yet...and the manager's experience is that checking fully into the reference is kind of a time-waste.

But my guess is that they don't really need my input, and they're following some sort of procedure. They've probably sifted through the applicants and maybe even have an interview with them. What they need is to check off a box for the boss to say they called their references.

Now that I bring it up, I'm not entirely sure why this bothers me. I mean, I have plenty to do that doesn't involve telling the potential boss that his future clothing folder at The Gap is very creative and has an infectious laugh...or that she's pretty bright and is a good friend to her friends and she's got this great taste in music and is a defensive driver and she turns her cell phone off when we have coffee and that she's always been on time for the bus trips and she makes good grades and she handled not making the team pretty well last spring and her Facebook page gets all sorts of comments and she doesn't care much about boys just yet and she told me her mom makes her keep her room spotless all the time...

...and you might think that information might not help a manager choose a teenager to greet folks, and hand them their little lighted buzzer after you write their name down and a big "4" and tell them it'll be a 20-minute wait.

But I'd think if I were running a retail establisment of any kind, I'd want to surround myself with interesting & fun people who enjoy whatever they happen to be doing at any given time, because, let's face it, work is usually work.

And, with that in mind, if I were running a retail establishment and needed hourly-wage high school/collegian worker bees, here's what my job application for them would look like (in addition to the basic information, here are the essay questions):

1. If you were going to make me a playlist from iTunes of songs that you REALLY love, what would be the first three songs?
2. What literary fictional character do you identify with the most and why?
3. If I gave you five hours with nothing to do and said that you had to use that time to do what you loved, what would you do with that five hours?
4. When do you think you were happiest in life and why?
5. What television shows & movies have made you laugh out loud recently?
6. If I were new to the area and we had an hour and I asked you to drive me around and show me little bits of our community that are the best parts of it, where would you take me and why?
7. If you were to get arrested, what would the charge most likely be?

And, you know, if I got answers to those questions I could determine pretty accurately if I could enjoy working with that person.

And I wouldn't need to check off a box of some pseudo reference at all...