A Funny Thing Happened At The Hockey Game Last Night...

Around lunchtime, I get a call from Retrophisch Chris. Tickets to the Stars game are a possibility. Am I in?

Around 3PM, I was in. So was Kid1.

By 4:30PM, everything was confirmed. Tickets were courriered over to Mrs. Retrophisch's office, they procured a babysitter and we were off by 6:30PM.

Kid1 says to pick the left line to enter the arena. "It always goes faster." Mr. and Mrs. Retrophisch tested her theory by getting in the center line. They won as they were through security a good two minutes before we were.

Kelsey's purse got searched and apparently 15-year-old girl with spikey hair and wearing a women's Stars jersey fits the terrorists/roughneck profile because the security guard pulled her over for extra screening. They ran the wand over her, it didn't beep, so we were free to go.

They hand us the night's give-a-ways as we entered: A mouse pad with three Dallas Stars photos on it and the web site address they wanted you to hit. There was also a faux boarding pass from American Airlines with a city or country listed on it. Mine said, "Lima, Peru" and Kelsey's said "Belize." Not sure what the Retrophisch's were holding.

Primo seats. I don't know how corporate affords $118 per seat, but they do, and I enjoy it when I'm the beneficiary of the deal. At one point, we checked our program to see if a player autographed the ad for a restaurant and we'd get a free dinner there if he did. He didn't.

Good first period, even though the Stars were down 1-0 to the Ducks. They were playing well.

Then, while the Zamboni's were warming up, they announced that we should check our faux boarding passes to see if we were a prize winner: "And if you have the boarding pass for Steamboat Springs, Colorado, or Belize, please report to the Guest Relations table behind section 113 to claim your prize."

Kelsey said, "Hey, I've got 'Belize'!" So, we were off to claim our prize. The last time this happened it was a $10 coupon to Hooters. Mrs. Retrophisch won that at a baseball game. I never asked if they used that. Anyway, I'm figuring we'll go up there and there will be a Stars calendar, maybe with some autographs on it or maybe some sort of t-shirt or whatever.

I started getting suspicious when NO ONE else was there to claim a prize.

Kelsey handed the nice lady her faux boarding pass. She verified it. And said, "Congratulations! You're our Grand Prize winner!"

Yeah.

Turns out that the Grand Prize is two round-trip airline tickets to anywhere in the freakin' world that American Airlines flies. Turns out that is pretty much anywhere in the freakin' world.

I had to sign some things because Kelsey wasn't 18, and one of those was a release for our image to be used in promotions. We had to wait about halfway into the 2nd period in some special seats they have for Grand Prize winners to watch the game until they use your image in promotions. Turns out that meant we smiled and waved at a camera for 10 seconds while it was on the big screen in the arena. They handed us a letter to claim the tickets.

As we were walking back to our primo seats and in the tunnel, the Stars scored. 1-1. We didn't see it.

The next few minutes were a flurry of phone calls to Mom & the higher order life liver sister Jilly and barnstorming pilot brother-in-law Shane and her friends and whoever else she could text message. We'd left our phones at the seats because we didn't think it'd take that long to pick up a calendar.

We looked up and it was 4-1, Ducks.

I kinda cared. Even if it's on corporate's nickel, somebody paid $500 for primo tickets and my team was getting drubbed and playing effortlessly, I'm gonna be pretty miffed. I'd gotten back into the game.

Kelsey...

...not so much.

And, apparently, there'll be a trip to the Denton Country Courthouse sometime soon. Apparently, you need a passport to get to London these days.

And I'm sure Kid1 and mom will do it up right...

...even if the flight is on the house.