Why Chuck Klosterman Gets My Brain Going

I remember tolerating classrooms & classwork, but getting it done.
I remember Gameday & how college football could consume an entire weekend.
I remember arranging my life so I could go to Tracy's apartment for Must See TV.
I remember Friday afternoons and how the energy level would increase by the hour.
I remember going to the free movie.
I remember parties with the sorority girls and/or little sisters.
I remember packing in cars and going somewhere/anywhere with the guys.
I remember the mile and a half walk home from the library, almost daily once my junior year started.
I remember how conversations ranged from Shakespeare to Buggs Bunny.
I remember the amount of energy put into chasing skirts.
I remember the talks about our futures.
I remember the talks about our present.
I remember the talks about the past.

I could go on. In fact, most of the particulars of those generalities were chronicled in real time. I still have the notebooks. And, truth be told, I had an incredibly positive university experience...lots of good friends, bad beer, good times, decent education. Many of which remain on my hard drive very vividly.

And, in retrospect, this is how I view those things:

"There are so many things that will never happen to me again, and I never even noticed when those things stopped occuring. And this does not mean I wish I had my old life back, because I like my new life better; I was just shocked to discover how much of what used to be central to my existence doesn't even matter to me anymore...but that used to be my life all the time. That used to be normalcy, and now that normalcy is completely over. Things like that will never happen to me again, even if I want them to. And I did not choose to stop living that life, nor did I try to continue living that life. I just didn't notice when it stopped."

This is why it takes a tremendous amount of courage to come to the blank page and want to write a book: It's so intimidating when writers hit those nerves and make you think and feel. And you can't do it as well as he does. And there are 100's of writers out there that can do it better on their worst day than you could on your best. A simple observation that encapsulates everything I've already observed about that same situation. But I didn't write it like that. I didn't even think it like that.

I feel very small this morning.