The Diner Interview, Part 3

NOTE: Since my return from vacation, people have been e-mailing, calling, or dropping by to ask me questions about my "return" to student ministry. The questions tend to be very similar, so I thought I'd just compile them and ask them to myself in the form of an interview. So, until I get tired of this bit, I'll do my best to answer the questions over our daily cup o' joe.

Okay...now we're getting to hard-hitting journalism! Yesterday, anonymous writes in (and, yes, this is why I allow anonymous comments at The Diner. Often, I've heard criticism that folks who write anonymously are cowardly or whatever else, but I've found that anonymity will provide the opportunity to get substance. So, with all sincerity to this particular anonymous writer in yesterday's comments, thanks for asking the real stuff!) the 2nd comment:

The Diner (question from the audience): "Who needs a theory? It’s quite evident that something is wrong. Why is it that a great portion of the CBC staff over the last few years have felt, “called by God to go somewhere else?” Isn’t it kind of a coincidence? Those answers to me always seemed like a very hokey spiritual cop-out phrase that really just means, “None of your business” or “It’s just too painful to talk about.” So what’s really going on???"

Me: First of all, previous to the portion of the question on which I'll focus the majority of my response, you mentioned that among my diatribes on pop culture, pseudopolitical hype, and other items that hit my brain on nearly 2,500 entries...that many might find it peculiar that there is little if anything said when a loyal friend steps down. Now, I can see where you might wonder about that.

If you'll notice, when my friend D.S. announced that he was heading off to the mission field, no entry. I could go back among my 12 year tenure at CBC and list a number of pastors and directors as well as assistants who no longer work at Crossroads and there were no entries. All friends. No entries.

My rationale is simple: I don't want my feelings about their departure to in any way detract from folks appreciating the work they did and the the relationships they had with those people. Hence, I don't use The Diner for that purpose. That doesn't make it right, necessarily, and maybe I should (I mean, Pastor Mike writes a little blurb when it happens and I assume most who read my blog also read his), but it simply seemed that my feelings and/or insights on our relationship might make my friend uncomfortable (rather than appreciative) to have those aired in a public forum. In one case, it could've jeopordized one of our agents in the field!

Now, keep in mind that I've been used to transition more than most as folks leaving student ministry service has been a regular occurrence over the years. Bryce. Lindsey. Wes (who is still with MercyMe). Lizzie. Joshua. Jude. Steve-O. Katherine. Heather. Kristy. There were others. When you hire good talent consistently, others notice and a couple got great gigs in other ministries. Sometimes they left for educational opportunities. Or other careers. Or because they got married. But each and every one of them was (and still happen to be) true friends and were a joy to work with. They were a part of building something I care about tremendously. So, I wouldn't be human if it didn't sting a little bit when they leave.

But...

...they're usually going TO something else. Which eases that sting a bit.

Which leads me to your next point, anonymous. That one about "because God called them somewhere else." I have to admit that you caught me on that one as, normally, I'm the one that calls others on. You know. That kind of spiritually hokey phrase (and many others) that does indeed sound like a cop-out. I plead no-contest.

You are correct in your assumption that there are usually reasons behind WHY someone would leave any church. In my experience the reason somebody goes somewhere else has a lot of ingredients in the soup. For example, when I left my first ministry in Birmingham the ministry was bursting at the seams with attendance. When I left the ministry in Garland, same thing. In Birmingham, it was the reality that my gifts were in discipleship and not evangelism, so I needed to be working in a church rather than an outreach organization. It was also at a time when my girls were young enough to move with little impact on them (other than not seeing both sets of grandparents every weekend).

In Garland, it was as simple as the senior pastor telling me that he wanted to bring me on full-time when I graduated seminary, and then not having that ability to do so when the time came. Plus, my girls were 5 and 3 then and moving before they started school was pretty important to us at that time.

Now, don't get me wrong. There were some negatives at those places, too. They weren't perfect places of harmony. There were personality conflicts along the way. Questionable leadership decisions at both of those places. Lack of money & budget politics were afoot. However, what I've found is that there isn't a person on the planet who isn't affected by someone else's dumb decision, and that won't change with a move. In business or ministry, there are plusses and minuses in any work environment.

And, at the end of the day, when Tim Stevenson said I should resign my job at the church in Garland, and there was nothing in writing that they'd give me the job at CBC, I did it. Why? Not because I was miserable at my other church. I wasn't. Sure, there were some difficulties, but some of those teenagers have grown up and planted churches and lead children's ministries and are great fathers & providers and one's a youth minister and one's a youth minister's wife! Great stuff was going on there. Folks said it was foolish to leave with all that going on. Ultimately my reason was because I sincerely felt God moving us to Crossroads.

Now, it would be foolish to speak on someone else's behalf as to what ingredients were in their soup as to why they might feel like God was moving them. So, I won't. But take a look at the life-station of each person (not just pastors, but also directors and support staff) who has moved on in the last decade. Some left to pursue seminary. Some because a job opened up at their husband's place of employ. Some had a baby. Some got married. Some were empty nesters with more options. Some because their dream job opened up. Others because of a snazzy business opportunity. Others moved to be closer to their new grandchildren. I could go on, but that should make my point:

My point is that they were going TO something else. Not necessarily AWAY from us.

And, I firmly believe that's the case most recently.

A couple of other points. It might be helpful to take a look around at other congregations and check out their staff retention rates. At one time, both Nathan and I had been the longest tenured student ministers in the FlowerPlex. I was #1. He was 2nd. How many pastors stay at churches 13, 16, 8 or 7 years? Or me with 12? I'm pretty sure most long-time CBC folks could put names next to all those time frames (and give me a little wiggle on those totals, okay? I could be off a year or two). There's a REASON people stay as long as they do at CBC, man. There's a reason.

Second, go back and check Ockham's Razor again. I don't think all this adds up to some sort of conspiracy theory. Crossroads has always had a desire to have a global impact for the message of God's grace as not only the method of salvation but also the motivation for the true spiritual life. Now, we've got folks heading out and doing that very thing. And not just our CBC staff, but also members who get transferred or go off to college or get married & move, and a bunch have just hauled off and gone to the mission field full-time: Germany, Argentina, Moscow, Czech Republic, Guatemala, Haiti...I kind of like the idea of Crossroads as a "launching pad" rather than a "landing spot."

And, yes, there are some "none of your business" items afoot. There are in any situation. Don't believe me? Ask an airline pilot about some close calls or bad landing issue. You were on the plane, right? Did you get all the details? Should you? Nope. Again, no job is perfect and we're all affected by the dumb decisions of others. But, actually, my guess is that happens at CBC a lot less than in other churches and I'm almost positive it happens less than in most businesses.

And, yes, there are some "hurts," too. I mean, I'll miss Jessica's coming into my office all chatty and Kim's wonderful cynicism and Nathan shooting nerf darts at Connie and endless movie quotes. And, I could list similar things about the others and their families that I'll personally miss. And, don't even get me started on their professionalism. It's cool to work with people that are great at what they do. And, again, I think I've been blessed by that more than most are in their jobs. But the reason I don't talk about them in The Diner is NOT because they're too painful to talk about. I don't bring them up here because the people I deal with are much more likely to be embarrassed than appreciative. They're too humble for that type of recognition.

So, to wrap up about "what's really going on?" In all sincerity, if anyone feels that there is something "really" going on, my encouragement to you is to pursue those in our church that are elders and chat with them about your concerns. No big deal. Just an honest chat over coffee or whatever. Or an e-mail. Or a phone call. It's pretty easy to find those folks. It's what anyone should do, because if anyone at my church feels that something conspiratorial is happening those are the folks that need to hear what you're thinking. First, that's biblical. Second, I feel pretty confident they want to hear from you and will give you a fair hearing and genuine response. Third, silence equals agreement--at least in a practical sense.

But also take a look around at CBC as ask yourself why it might be that there are still pastors there with 12, 10, 6 and a director with 8 and another with 6 years (again, please allow me some wiggle with the math here). There might be a conspiracy afoot if you look hard enough. :)

Seriously, anonymous, I hope I gave your question the fair treatment it deserves. It was a good question and I truly appreciate the chance to respond...and apologize for any trite comment that sounded hokey and led to more questions.

(cont'd tomorrow, and feel free to interview me yourself through the comment section and I'll see what I can do to answer them!)