Sometimes, They're Just You're Clothes

Kurt Cobain was once interviewed about the success of Nirvana and the interviewer asked a question about the "statement" his flannel-over-long-johns-and-jeans look. You know, trying to get a quote about Nirvana's influence in stripping away the glitz and just playing rock and roll, some sort of nod toward a blue-collar mindset, or a rags-to-riches type thing. Kurt disarmed him by simply informing him that he lived in Seattle, where the weather went from cold to hot during the day and back again so he wore layers. He made a comment that sometimes clothes don't make a statement...they're just your clothes. He died in the only pair of shoes he owned: Converse Chuck T's.

Or so the legend goes. Myths grow after rock stars die.

And, frankly, I don't dress that well. My staff signed me up for a television show called "What Not To Wear" in which they surprise you with cameras and then give you a style makeover...and it wouldn't surprise me if I were selected and woke up one day with those folks at my door (*staff high-fiving in the background, pleased with themselves as well as relishing the chance to be on television*). A while back my sister signed me up for "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" and I got a phone call telling me I was a fantastic candidate for the show, so I wouldn't be surprised one bit if my staff hit the jackpot.

But I don't really care much about or for fashion.

I like my blue jeans.

I like my t-shirts with a non-descript button down over it. And no logos if possible. I don't like advertising after I paid for the shirt. The simpler the better, and lots of blue, grays, or olive if possible.

I like sweatshirts...particularly with colleges I didn't go to on them.

I like jerseys from sports teams. Usually a size too large...but they've got to be authentic. None of that replica stuff for me...which explains why I don't have those, but I'd wear them consistently if I did.

I like baseball caps. My favorite has a logo from a non-existent hockey team in New Jersey called the Leonardo Reapers, which Randall wore in Clerks II. If I wear it backwards it's especially funny but I can't tell you why.

The hardest fashion choices in my day involve which particular t-shirt to wear or my choice of Birks, Docs, Chucks, other sneaks, or flops. If I'm really out there one day I'll roll with Crocs...but that's rare.

I like my top-coat my wife bought me when we got engaged. It's very 1980's but it's the first piece of clothing I got that has come back into fashion...teenagers see it and seem to be impressed that it's "vintage retro."

I like sweaters. Not Cosby-esque with flash, but just a plain old sweater.

I like my flannel pants for in-home puttering.

I dislike shorts and short sleeves.

I dislike khaki's...especially Dockers. But I wear them as a default choice if where I'm going isn't jeans-accessible.

I dislike suits and ties. Unless I'm going to a wedding or something. Then they're okay...and they're easy.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'd probably be a lousy guest on that show "What Not To Wear" because they could give me the haircut with the frosted tips and put me in some sort of get-ups that would make me somewhat fashion-forward, but they can't make me actually care.

Maybe if they had some sort of clothing line for people who want to be comfortable but not care about what they looked like but wanted to look like they cared while maintaining some level of "casual" that wasn't mass-marketed, then they'd be on to something. And maybe I'd be a better guest on that show.

And a better fit for society.