Ohh, If I Were King, Yeah, The World Would Swing...

Love it when you can fire off an obscure Tom Petty line in the title.

Anyway, there's a guy named Kinky Friedman running for governor here in Texas. He doesn't appear to have much of a chance and his major strength seems to be in the reality that he's an "outsider" to the political process. He's also a loose cannon of sorts--seems to have trouble when to joke and when to be serious.

So, I got to thinking what I'd like to do if I become Grand Poohbah of The World.

First, I'm thinking bean-bag chairs on airplanes. Sure, we'd need to think through special sizes and such for the passengers who might have trouble getting in and out of them, and, of course, first-class will get those huge ones from Love Sacks. But I think that'd be the way to go. I mean, in a crash, maybe you could just unzip them and use the padding like Niagra Falls barrel free-falls...and the flotation device would be better, I'm thinking.

Secondly, we'd somehow rig up the Interstate system to have Disney-type monorails in the medians. Maybe even use that magnet technology that Japan has (or is it China?) for high-speed transport--and doing our very best to get everyone who doesn't live in the Northeast to depend on public transportation of all sorts.

Third, the casual lifestyle is the new "formal." You can go to any meeting or any gathering in public wearing flannel pants if you want. Sweatshirts or floppy t-shirts, too. We'll keep suits for funerals and weddings, but after that, it's jeans to work for everyone. Dockers will be outlawed, as will sweatpants unless they have a genuine athletic purpose to serve.

Fourth, iPods will be given to everyone. Paint & canvases, musical instruments & literature over 5 years old will be given away free to anyone who wants to use them. The arts will have full commitment.

Fifth, mobile-phone etiquette will be mandatory and yet, joyfully agreed upon and implemented.

Sixth, in the U.S.A., we have mandatory two sit-down meals per day with family. No work or school starts until 9AM, so mandatory breakfast hour is 7 to 8. Lunch is with either school or work...but it cannot be eaten alone or at a desk (you must use the break room or whatever). The entire country takes a break from 6:30--7:30PM for family dinner hour. Of course, work must be considerate to allow you to be seated at your home table at 6:30PM SHARP. People will use this time to build relationships. Play "hi's & low's" if you want, or we'll even supply e-mailed conversation starters. NO television during this time.

So that's a start...if you have any platform additions, I'll entertain those now. It'll be a benevolent dictatorship...one in which the masses have access through blog comments!