The Names Have Been Changed To Protect The Innocent

There's a town about 10 miles from where we live formerly named Clark, Texas. It has about 150 residents.

They officially changed their name to DISH, Texas yesterday. All capital letters, and in return, the fine folks at DISH Network are giving all residents, current and future, free full-blown satellite television service for a decade.

Since this seems like a good way to get some free stuff, I'd like to offer the following availabilities:

I'll rename my front yard "Jerry Jones Land" for the remainder of 2005 for free Cowboys tickets for Sunday or next Thursday's home game.

I'll refer to my refrigerator's ice maker as "Modanoville" forever for free tickets to the Stars game on Friday night.

I'll post a sign in my living room letting the world know that "this couch is brought to you by the fine folks at iTunes" for a year for unlimited downloads until I fill up my iPod.

I'll put Starbucks logo stickers all over my coffee pot for a year's worth of free coffee.

I'll leave IKEA tags visible for one year for every piece of furniture they give me.

I could go on and on...

...but I assure you that The Diner will listen to any and all adverstising propositions for free stuff.