Interview of Me, Part 3: The Rants

What do I wish I had known in high school that I know now?

That a walk with Christ is not a list of rules and regulations but rather a genuine relationship…and the specifics that would help me make that happen. The people around me were well meaning and well intentioned, but they inadvertently gave me the short shrift on that reality. I felt like a light bulb went off three years later and I went through a lot of feelings of inadequacy and failure that I didn’t have to had I known what I know now about true spirituality. I use the last two words with extreme measure.

If I could change one thing in my life’s history, what would it be?

I’d have married Tracy and then come back to seminary immediately instead of using our hometown as a “default location” and find jobs and get settled. Why we didn’t begin our life together in Dallas remains a mystery to both of us, but at the time it seemed like we should get jobs and become grown ups. Don’t get me wrong, I valued the time I had with my first ministry but I think I’d have been a better husband, student and, eventually, minister, if we’d just moved out here and been on our own. There’s something weird about the South that makes you feel as if your hometown is where you should stay.

What trait of my daughters do I wish I had?

Kelsey’s artistic abilities. Shelby’s compassion for people. They’re both smarter than I am, too, so I wish I had their intelligence.

What is the easiest/most difficult/surprising part of parenthood?

Easiest: falling in love with your children. It was instantaneous, from the moment Tracy told me she was pregnant with both I was “in.”

The most difficult is letting them make mistakes and get hurt and know you could stop it or fix it but it’s for the best to let it happen and let them learn.

The most surprising is what incredible individuals they both are…I’d like to hang out with both of them even if they weren’t my kids and they’re truly some of the most inspiring and creative individuals I know. I can’t believe they live in my house and have a genetic link to me.

If I were given a week to spend in a city/country, where would it be?

That would depend on the purpose I was going.

If I were looking to be inspired to write, New York City, USA. Not a question there.

If I were looking to spend the time with my wife only, really, it’d be Gulf Shores/Orange Beach, Alabama...or perhaps some other beach destination, but that’s the best ones I’ve ever been to. The beach would be her favorite vacation spot, and that woman deserves better than I give her on the vacation end of things.

If I were looking to go with my family, the best time we ever had together was at Disney World. I could do Disney repeatedly with little loss of enthusiasm. Where else do they tell you to go home and go to bed with fireworks and a parade?

What about suburbia makes me want to scream?

There is a book in this question somewhere, so I’ll have to go with the condensed version (as a shorter question to answer would be “what DOESN’T make me want to scream?”)

For starters: Homogeneity is definitely a big player. It’s even reflected in our architecture (five floor plans in one subdivision). The vanilla mind-set that honors mediocrity rather than innovation. The cookie-cutter reality that some vague notion of success is more valuable than creativity. Another big player would be that the suburbs foster a “competition mentality” that is really based in the concept that we love ourselves. The idea that a quality education is a panacea for anything. The lack of public transportation. The non-thinking Republican leanings (which is distinctly different than the thinking Republican leanings, mind you) of the populace. There’s such a resistance to public transportation to the degree that it lost an election with 85% against. The mere fact that “covenant communities” exist scares me. It all really falls into some huge category of self-sufficiency when I think about it…life without God and trusting your own abilities. Do you need more or is that enough?

What about Christians makes me want to disassociate?

Nothing. We have our problems as a tribe and our family is self-centered and silly at times, but it’s strange that no matter how stupid or inane or irrelevant or naïve or hypocritical or stubborn we can be (or are and there’s another book in listing those observances), I still love the Body of Christ and wouldn’t have it any other way. I might can pick on my family, but if you aren’t in my family, you better not pick on my family.

What encourages me most?

I’m guessing that is supposed to be taken in a spiritual sense…and that is watching the light bulb go off in a teenager’s brain. It’s almost magical that I can see it and know what’s about to happen in a teen’s life. It’s what keeps me in this business, and frankly, it happens enough that I’m a pretty encouraged person most of the time. All it takes to change my mood is for a teen to say, “You know, I was thinking about that, and here’s how I see God at work there…” and I’m pretty much jacked for the entire day.

What’s the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make & why?

To leave a ministry that there was nothing wrong with realizing that it didn’t seem logical in any way to do it. Tracy and I left YFC in Birmingham when it was doing fabulously well in almost every aspect (if you don’t count the organization’s finances, but that’s an entirely different story) to come to Dallas to go to seminary. It was hard because we grew up with those teenagers and they grew up with us and we loved them dearly…still do, truth be known. Those times, in retrospect, were unbelievably special. And to walk away was very confusing for those teens…and us.

If I had a son, what top 3 things would I want to do with him that I couldn’t do with daughters?

I’ve been blessed with daughters who like spending time with dad no matter what reason, so I really can’t think of anything I’d do with a son that I couldn’t do with daughters. The top three things I’d share with him would be to follow love your God, love your neighbor, and after that, be a life-long learner, knowing that you aren’t fully mature. Frankly, I’m glad I didn’t have sons. Daughters are the BEST.