Interview of Me, Part 2: Answering A Few Short Ones

Answering the more simple questions from the interview of two days ago:

1. Who first called me “Opie?” It was some guy in the fraternity named Rob who roomed with Jep. It was during pledging, and he just started calling me that. I’ve never been called that before or since.

2. What nicknames have I been called by more than 10 people? The guys in high school called me “B.M.” because my initials also are shared with the nursing term for a bodily function. Greg Smith, my best friend from childhood called me “Roy” for a time but no one got on that bandwagon with him. When I was little, some friends of my dad called me “Little Ed” because of my mannerisms, which mirrored his. I’ve never really had one that stuck other than “Opie,” and that one stuck with a vengeance to the degree that most people in college rarely knew my real name.

3. “Not that you'd count, but give me your scorecard on ministry, estimate if necessary...number of salvations, number of lives turned around, number of students who are now in ministry, other numbers you might think are important in your ministry.”

I truly don’t keep up with those kinds of things…if I did it would keep me from viewing people as people instead of statistics. I have GREAT stories about life turnarounds and the grace of God in people’s lives and would never reduce those to a mere number. Ever. Under any circumstances. I also don’t give out the data on my student ministry attendance because it ultimately leads to either covetousness or pride, depending on the point of view of the hearer. What’s funny is that most of my students wouldn’t have any idea, either. I truly don’t mean to be condescending on this, but it’s not something I can philosophically answer. Sorry about that, Hollywood.

4. In the last calendar year, I have worn a full-blown suit 4 times. Performing of a wedding ceremony three times, and as a lark when I gave a sermon last year.

5. The worst three jobs I’ve ever had? I’ve only had three jobs. Seriously. I worked at a country club (with frequent blog commenter Hal—a.k.a. “Howell”) on the course maintenance crew, a movie theatre and then youth ministry. I guess I babysat the neighbor kids and did lawn stuff, too…and I did drive cars for a car dealership to get my wife’s engagement ring, but pretty much I’ve only had three jobs. The worst was was at the country club, but it was also the one I have the fondest memories and the biggest laughs because it was with all my friends. (“Brett, you and Howell take Timmy and this man right here and weed-eat the creek,” our boss once said, butchering all our names in one sentence, while urinating outdoors FACING US—in high school I don’t know if there could be more laughs after the fact.)

6. My favorite genre of movies: Comedy, the sillier the better. When I watch movies I don’t want to think, I want to escape.

7. What’s my favorite kind of cereal? Lucky Charms, by far and away.

8. My hatred of cats and country music were both instantaneous with my exposure to both, although I’ve become okay with Johnny Cash lately. My loathing of felines has only increased exponentially with each passing minute.

9. If I could be any animated character in a movie, it’d be Bob Parr (a.k.a. “Mr. Incredible). He loves his family, understands his role/place in the world, and submits to authority except when the overriding purpose of good over evil is at stake. He has great friends and great memories. Definitely Bob Parr.

10. If I hadn’t become a youth pastor, I imagine that I’d be a senior English teacher at a high school, maybe coaching baseball. I didn’t prepare for that in undergraduate work by getting an educational degree, but that’s probably where it was headed if I didn’t have a laser focus on youth ministry my junior year in college (a believe it was 5 major changes at that point, so another wouldn’t have hurt).

11. Laura: No, no one has been called statuesque since you graduated. I didn’t call YOU statuesque until someone ELSE called you statuesque back when you were dating S.K.

12. The single most important advice I would tell a guy about a girl actually contains three parts: It would be to honor/respect them, be a continual student of them, and to act with wisdom on the results you find as a continual student of them.

13. What scared me at 4? I have no real memory of four so I can’t say. I do know that I had a nightmare once that terrified me when I was a kid, though…it involved handguns and snakes. I still fear both of those. At 14, it was definitely that my mom would die, too. My dad died the year before and I remember really being scared on the “what if” game regarding my mom. I really feared that. Now it would be similar: The worst thing I could imagine happening would be something happening to my wife and/or kids.