Slow News Week, But GREAT News!

If the nightly news is any indication, outside of the Pope's death, there's nothing left to report. Top stories last night on the local news:

* Teenagers don't consider oral sex to be "sex" and higher numbers of teenager than ever are participating. ("After the break, what teenagers think about sex that every parent needs to know...and the results may scare you.")

* A local law school dropped 4 places in the top 100 law schools according to Newsweek magazine and they interviewed the admission counselor as to precisely why this disaster might be occurring.

* A recent diet study showed that a low-carb diet may be more beneficial than a low-fat diet, but that a more effective way to lose weight would be to manage portions and exercise more.

I'm convinced that most television shows that take place at 10PM (in CDT time zones) will make you lose I.Q. points.

The highlight of the newscast, and the GREAT news: Professional baseball teams started playing their regular season, and highlights were aplenty. *like Napoleon Dynamite, complete with eyes closed, drawing closed fist back towards ribs* "Yesssssss."

For those of you that think baseball is slow, boring or dumb: Baseball is dull to dull minds.