If you guys know so much about women, how come you're here at a "Gas 'N Sip" at 11:30 on a Friday night without a girl anywhere near here?

According to the fine folks at TheRomantic.Com here are the 10 things guys find romantic:

1. Compliments
2. Dark chocolate
3. Hard-to-find gifts
4. You, in his clothes
5. Funny movies
6. A great memory
7. An old-fashioned night on the town
8. Tall buildings
9. Surprise intimacy
10."I love you" notes

Once again, I wonder how I got so far afield from my fellow man. I'm okay with compliments (who doesn't like those?) and the hard-to-find gifts (like the autographed baseball by your favorite player or a special order DVD) and funny movies (but the idea is that you laugh together, I'd rather have The Simpson's or Seinfeld).

And naturally, the surprise intimacy is a no-brainer.

But let's talk about the other six. Dark chocolate? I'm out. You want my heart? It comes through beef.

You, in my clothes. You're kidding, right? Have you seen my clothes? No, I prefer you in your clothes.

A great memory? I'm more of a live-in-the-now kind of mode. I love a good flip through the old photo albums or the viewing of family videos on occasion, but I'm much more attracted to who my wife is BECOMING more than who she was.

An old-fashioned night on the town? Tall buildings? The only way that works is if that old-fashioned night on the town is a great Broadway show in NYC, then the tall buildings are thrown in for free. Other than that, a fire in the fireplace of my one-story home and a really good DVD are my preference.

The "I Love You" notes? Not so much...but if she's paying that much attention to trying to do the other 9 things on the list, it pretty much means she loves me and the notes probably aren't necessary. Besides, nothing says "I Love You" quite like hockey tickets...