The Method To The Madness

Yesterday, there was a thread in my "comments" that had to do with the results that I somehow manage to get out of the teenagers I serve. In particular, I have a higher-than-average amount of teenagers who think for themselves...which often results in a deviation from the standard throes that American Christianity seems to breed.

Anyway, since I inherited my 10th senior class earlier this year and have a tenure in youth ministry that spans 18 years now, I've learned a few things along the way that gives teenagers freedom to be who they are:

First, always remember that you are NOT the primary discipler of that young person. Their parents are, and have infintely more influence in the lives of the teen than you ever will. Much of their thinking ability will evolve from that one reality.

Second, when you do assist in the discipleship of a teen, remember to speak boldly and with authority where the Bible speaks boldly and with authority...and then shut up. So, if you focus on the majors of Scripture instead of irrelevant drivel, as well as give prominent time to what Scripture gives prominent time to then the teen will grow at a pretty significant clip. While defining positions on the appropriate swimsuit reveal, music, movies or television choices will give you job security through popularity with parents, they have little effect on teenager's growth.

Third, trust the Holy Spirit with the results of their developmental growth. Let Him develop what He wants in the teen instead of trying to manipulate that growth. Youth ministers traditionally have had a "model kid" in mind and spirituality (and popularity/relationship with said youth minister) involves turning out like that vision. I've found deeply spiritual goth kids, board weasels, jocks, Student Councilers, artists, etc. The Holy Spirit is infinitely creative.

Fourth, teach, live and give the grace message that is undeniable and unavoidable in Scripture. The reality is that spiritual growth is a painfully slow process and if you kick around in the grace message, it allows love to dictate your actions towards a kid who goes "three steps forward, two steps backward." You develop patience and long-term commitment with kids who blow it...which happens more often than we like to admit.

Fifth, provide horizon expanding, comfort-zone blowing opportunities to serve and minister using their spiritual gifts. In other words, since teens are a part of The Church right now (not some vague sense of "future leadership") we should provide trips to hospitals in Haiti, Native American reservations, Juarez home-building, Holland evangelistic trips, etc., as well as provide Bible-study leading and small group discipling opportunities...not to mention the day-in, day-out stuff needed to make the church function (coffee making, bulletin stuffing, greeting, nursery work, etc.). This helps them discover their passions as well as their likes and dislikes, which will lead to growth.

Lastly, love them unconditionally and treat them with inherent respect. Let them see your life, including the chinks in the armor, and they'll be encouraged to share theirs with you...and you can sharpen each other.

So, after 18 years of youth ministry, the all the stuff I do generally falls into those categories...six paragraphs. Maybe I should've paid more attention in my seminary youth ministry classes...but that's all I've got. It really isn't rocket science.