The Car Buying Experience

I needed a new car. The maroon Chevy Astro van has had it. I'd experienced car buying before...but Tracy had done all the leg work and I showed up on the last day and signed the papers.

So, I'm off extra early to car shop.

I was on the first lot about six seconds when I realized that I don't like to car shop.

It seemed like every question the guy asked me was designed to figure out how much money he could get out of me. For example, the salesman (who mysteriously popped out from behind the cars like those folks who pop out of nowhere at Disney the second a scrap of trash hits the ground in the Magic Kingdom) asked, "Did you have a good weekend?" I said, "Sure." He follows up with, "Do you have to work all weekend or do you get to enjoy them?" Could've been small talk, but I sensed he was trying to figure out if my career gave me long weekends.

Another guy on another lot literally offered me a "selection from our coffee and water bar." No kidding.

In car dealerships, there are about 20 people sitting around doing nothing...just waiting for people to walk in. I thought it would make a great setting for a situation comedy.

One salesman even brought up his daughter in college. Another mentioned his wife and two kids...one he adopted three months after his first one was born. Orthodontia never came up.

Once we got settled on the deal at the final dealership, the paperwork took about two hours. During this time, the salesman came over and helped us fill out his evaluation ("Anything less than 'excellent' is simply unacceptable by my bosses, so really, it'd help me out. But if something wasn't 'excellent' then you'd be doing me a favor in telling me what that is.") Then he took us around and introduced us to our "service representative" as well as our "financial representative." He even introduced us to the "parts manager" in case we might need any parts for any reason, he was the guy to get them for us. He showed us where they serve lunch and all that jazz when you come in on Saturdays to get your car serviced. He went over the service schedule sheet with us...which means he read it out loud to us. He showed us our owner's manual and how to find stuff in there. Tracy and I both figured he was killing time. I got the feeling there had to be a better way, but at the same time, I felt very sure it's done that way for a reason which has been time-tested and approved.

I also can't believe anyone at these places when they tell me that is the "very best deal" they can give me. Even the financial guy shook his head and couldn't believe the deal we got. He went to check with the salesman to make sure. That might've been genuine, but it still seemed like an act.

In short, the whole time I was shopping, I was being thankful that I don't have to do that job. I think it would be very difficult, competitive and monotonous to be in that line of work. Even down to the Dockers and pressed shirts.

The whole day took 9 hours. I'd rather have helped a friend move furniture.