Two Tales of Transparency

Yesterday morning I had coffee with the Endearingly Neurotic Katherine. She was on fall break from college, and filled me in on things that can only come out in an hour or so when you have a 7 year friendship. We didn't solve anything at all, but we were transparent.

Last night I held a meeting with my middle school parents. We meet weekly, and the discussion centers on a topic I choose each week. Last night was about talking to your teens about spirituality. One of the points I made was that it requires parents to be transparent with their teen...not only having all the answers but also letting your teen know of times when you "blew it" in life. Things like that.

I used an illustration that highlighted the differences between an AA meeting and a Christian prayer group. The people at AA are broken, transparent and admit they need help in living life. I suggested that Christian small groups were not so transparent, but rather guarded, diversionary and exercises in showing each other how well we're doing.

No one argued. In fact, there seemed to be universal agreement.

So, I'm wondering today how come I can have two distinctly different approaches to the Christian life in one single day. Is it the relationship developed? The one-on-one approach? Or is there something about group dynamics? Is it pride?

I mean, living life together isn't supposed to be harsh and judgmental...more encouraging and affirming.

And, today, I have more questions than answers.