Tying The Knot

I got married at age 22. 21 years later, we're still together, man.
I've performed weddings where the bride was 18. They just celebrated their 4th anniversary and still seem pretty happy about it all.
I've performed weddings where the couple was in their mid-30's. 2 years later, they just purchased a home.

I know couples that got married at 22 and didn't make it.
I've seen young brides get divorced twice by age 25.
I've known couples that got married later and didn't make it to their 2nd anniversary.

So, there was an article in this month's Christianity Today, titled "The Case for Early Marriage" that piqued my interest (it had been bouncing around Twitter and Facebook circles I run in). The tag line under the article reads, "Amid our purity pledges and attempts to make chastity hip, we forgot to teach young Christians how to tie the knot."

Here's the first couple of paragraphs of Mark Regnerus' cover story:

"Virginity pledges. Chastity balls. Courtship. Side hugs. Guarding your heart. Evangelical discourse on sex is more conservative than I've ever seen it. Parents and pastors and youth group leaders told us not to do it before we got married. Why? Because the Bible says so. Yet that simple message didn't go very far in shaping our sexual decision-making.

So they kicked it up a notch and staked a battle over virginity, with pledges of abstinence and accountability structures to maintain the power of the imperative to not do what many of us felt like doing. Some of us failed, but we could become 'born again virgins.' Virginity mattered. But sex can be had in other ways, and many of us got creative.

Then they told us that oral sex was still sex. It could spread disease, and it would make you feel bad. 'Sex will be so much better if you wait until your wedding night,' they urged. If we could hold out, they said, it would be worth it. The sheer glory of consummation would knock our socks off.

Such is the prevailing discourse of abstinence culture in contemporary American evangelicalism. It might sound like I devalue abstinence. I don't. The problem is that not all abstainers end up happy or go on to the great sex lives they were promised. Nor do all indulgers become miserable or marital train wrecks. More simply, however, I have found that few evangelicals accomplish what their pastors and parents wanted them to."

So, grab a cup of joe, and read the article...

...and I'd like to hear your thoughts on when you got married, as well as what you'd advise any couple in a similar situation as you were then...the benefits and the drawbacks. Yeah. This might get serious conversation going again here at The Diner. If you haven't noticed, we're experiencing our annual summer commenting slump. And, as a side benefit, it'll help my pre-marital counseling!

Have at it, patrons!